Parenting in the Digital Age: How to Protect Your Child’s Mental and Spiritual Health

Healthy boundaries and loving accompaniment can help teens replace digital stress with lasting peace.

By Aby Garcia

St. Raphael Counseling, a ministry of Catholic Charities

Have you ever felt the pressure to do something perfectly?

It’s not a feeling we enjoy. It’s difficult as human beings to navigate the anxiety caused by perfectionism. But this is exactly what our children feel every day as they chase the perfection they perceive through social media. And although the uncontrolled use of cell phones is a big problem for all ages, as adults, we have the capacity to distinguish what is real from what is not. But for young people who are still developing, this is not so easy. That’s why it’s very important, as parents, that we guide our children to learn how to manage the anxiety that social media generates.

The Problem

We currently live in a society that has robbed young people of something vitally important for their development: reality. It’s now much more common for teenagers to communicate through social media than in person. As a result, even when they are physically present, they are often emotionally absent. This causes a loss of family connection, a sense of isolation, technology addiction, anxiety, perfectionism and a lack of understanding of who they really are.

Unfortunately, the constant use of cell phones and social media fosters in many young people an unrealistic search for perfection. As they try to discover who they are and what God created them for, they face constant daily comparisons. Not only does the desire to look like the people they follow arise, but also the belief that they are not enough just as they are. Constant doubts about their worth, appearance, success or intelligence keep them from recognizing that they have been created in the image and likeness of God. This weakens their self-esteem and can lead them to feel insecure. With low self-esteem, it becomes even harder for them to recognize the value God has given them and the purpose he has for their lives.

The uncontrolled use of cell phones and social media can generate addiction, fueled by the constant need to be connected. When they don’t have access to their devices, many young people experience anxiety, since this disconnection disrupts their nervous system. It’s easy to fall into the idea that there is always a new video to watch, a recent photo someone has posted, or a story that needs immediate attention.

However, this is not true. It is entirely possible to be present in our responsibilities and daily tasks without constantly checking the phone. These real-life experiences provide our children with the peace and connection they so deeply need. As parents, we can help them set healthy limits on cell phone and social media use.

The Solution: Accompaniment

Although the brain is constantly developing, adolescence marks a critical stage of accelerated growth. Curiously, it is also during those years that many young people begin to have access to cell phones and social media.

That’s why it’s essential that our young people feel lovingly accompanied, with clear limits and firm guidance from their parents. It’s important to understand that guiding is not the same as overprotecting. When we overprotect our children, we prevent them from developing the ability to make their own decisions. Instead, by guiding them with wisdom and allowing them to learn to establish healthy boundaries, we help them not only manage technology better but also grow in other key areas of their lives. Young people need to see in their parents a clear example of how to use cell phones and social media responsibly and in balance.

Through this accompaniment, family connection is fostered, giving young people a sense of security and belonging. This bond helps them feel loved and supported. Creating family spaces without cell phones is key. We can foster meaningful moments such as family dinners, walks together, shared games or supporting their talents in activities like sports or music. These experiences allow us to be truly present and give them the attention they need. At the same time, they help prevent isolation and strengthen family bonds. Most importantly, they give us the opportunity to be an example, showing how to establish healthy boundaries and manage time and priorities productively.

Would it be possible to admire an artist’s creation without stopping to observe it? The answer is no. In the same way, we cannot contemplate or admire God’s creation if we don’t take the time to do so. Constant cell phone use robs us of the chance to appreciate the greatness of God and all that he gives us. As parents, we are called to invite our children to rediscover that sense of wonder: to pause and breathe, to listen to the sounds of nature, to appreciate the colors of each season, to engage in conversation with loved ones, and to share quality time in activities we enjoy. Just as we teach them how to use other tools throughout their lives, we can also guide them in using cell phones with healthy boundaries. It is never too late to teach, nor to educate by example.