The Other Side of the Screen: The Priest’s Front-Row Seat to Mercy in Action in Confession
- André Escaleira, Jr.
- Jun 27
- 16 min read
Updated: Jul 10
You find your way into a Catholic church, and it’s quiet. Really quiet. The lights are low, except for a small red dot of light shining above a side door. Over time, people go in and out. Maybe you do, too. Either way, it’s hard to miss, between the light and the line.
Many of us might be familiar with what happens in that closet-sized space — the confessional — as sinner after sinner comes before the Sacred Heart of Jesus, which burns for merciful love of them, and asks God’s forgiveness for their faults through the priest on the other side of the screen.
From our side of the screen, things are straightforward:
“Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It’s been _____ (days/weeks/months/years) since my last Confession.”
[Insert sins here]
Listen to advice
Receive a penance
Pray the Act of Contrition of your choosing
Receive absolution (forgiveness) through the priest
Thanks, and farewell
If you’re anything like me, you’ve gone through that process a lot as you seek continued forgiveness and spiritual growth.
Many of us might be all too familiar with Confession from our perspective. But what happens on the other side of the screen?
The sacrament is quite literally shrouded in mystery — the word “sacrament” comes from the Greek μυστήριον (mysterion), from which we also get “mystery” — and only a few souls have the privilege of crossing the veil to take up their front-row seat to God’s mercy.
For every one of the eight priests from all over Northern Colorado with whom I spoke while preparing this article, the experience of hearing Confessions is a profoundly humbling privilege — one that they spend years preparing for in seminary, and hours preparing for each day as priests.
“I try to enter every Confession in a spirit of prayer. I try to spend some time before hearing Confessions asking the Lord that all of those who come to Confession may experience his mercy and love through me now,” said Father Joe Toledo, pastor of St. Elizabeth Ann Seton Parish in Fort Collins. “I also do that by keeping my morning prayer routine, which I start at 4:30 every morning before Mass. I use that as a catch-all for those moments in which I may not have time, with the things I do in the day, to actually stop and take it to prayer.”
“Each morning, as I’m offering my day to God, I do pray, especially if I know I’m going to hear Confessions, for those who will come to Confession today. And, with some frequency, I pray that the Lord would stir up and lead souls to the confessional here or wherever they need to go,” added Father Sam Morehead, rector of the Cathedral Basilica of the Immaculate Conception in Denver.
Hours before hearing their first Confession, the priest is praying for the souls that the Lord will lead to a deeper closeness to his Sacred Heart, to a more profound acceptance of his mercy, compassion and love. That “remote preparation,” as it’s known, helps these representatives of God orient themselves for the vulnerable experience of receiving someone’s pain, faults, failings and sins, even if the demands of the day prevent them from engaging in sufficient “proximate preparation” right before they head into the confessional.
“I’ll admit, [the proximate preparation is] just a quick little prayer to the Holy Spirit: ‘Come, Holy Spirit. Use me as you like,” explained Father Matt Magee, pastor of St. Stephen Parish in Glenwood Springs.
“The prayers of preparation are really meant just so that the Confessions remain in the heart of God and not in your own hearts,” added Father Peter Mussett, pastor of Notre Dame Parish in Denver.
“As I’m putting on whatever vestments I’m going to wear to hear the Confessions, that’s a beautiful moment of preparation itself,” Father Morehead noted. “Putting on the stole to remind myself that I’m merely standing in the place of Christ and extending his mercy and forgiveness.”
The years (in seminary) and hours (as priests) of preparation make sense when we consider just how powerful what’s happening in that little room really is. Sin, darkness and pain are revealed, and forgiveness, light and healing are wrought. In that way, every Confession is a mini miracle as grace pours forth from the pierced Heart of Jesus.
“There’s something beautiful about someone who’s spilling out their heart, and they just long for the Lord to touch them in that place in their heart that hurts. It’s beautiful to be a part of that,” explained Father Scott Bailey, pastor of Risen Christ Parish in Denver.
“When you’re sitting there in the confessional, you have so many of those moments where the glory of the Lord is entirely revealed and you’re just in awe, and then the next person comes in!” added Father Mussett.
“There’s almost a thrill of going from one penitent to the next and just seeing God work and work and work in each of their hearts,” shared Father Paul Nguyen, OMV, pastor of Holy Ghost Parish in Denver, as he noted the sense of anticipation he often feels ahead of hearing Confessions.
As they sit on the other side of the screen, the priests know they are only keeping the seat warm for Jesus, so to speak; they’re sitting in his place, acting in his person.
In every one of the sacraments, priests act in Jesus’ name and person. Through their ordination, they stand in for the Lord of the Universe at the key moments of our spiritual lives: as they baptize, when they consecrate the Eucharist, while they anoint the sick and as they forgive sins.
“It is crazy, really,” Father Nguyen said of the experience of sitting in persona Christi (in the person of Christ) in the sacraments like Confession. “It is always a lofty, sublime kind of moment.”
“It’s a privileged place. It’s humbling as well,” added Father Magee.
But we’re not talking about possession here — it’s not like Jesus takes the wheel completely. The priest is still present and active, sitting in a front-row seat to mercy in action. It’s through his hands and words in the sacraments that he makes himself powerfully present.
“When I'm celebrating Mass, I am acting in persona Christi, but I'm also worshiping and adoring the Body of Christ that is in front of me. I'm acting in his person, but he's also there in front of me. We're not the same, but at the same time, we are the same,” explained Father Jonathon Hank, OMV, parochial vicar at Holy Ghost Parish in Denver. “And so, there's something like that in Confession, where I realize that, especially when I say the words of absolution, ‘I absolve you from your sins …,’ that my words carry divine authority and weight. There's something really awesome and humbling about that. But I'm also, in a sense, worshiping God's mercy, which is coming down through me, yes, but it's not me. His mercy is touching them in ways that I can't control or understand or comprehend. And so, I'm there as part of it, but there's also something that's even beyond my reach that I can just praise and adore and love the way God is working right now.”
The “lofty, sublime kind of” experience of sitting in Jesus’ person, hearing Confessions and seeing mercy come to life is truly a privilege — a beautiful and a humbling one, at that.
“I think there’s an awesomeness on my part to realizing that God is working through me,” added Father Toledo.
“I can’t do this myself. It’s too much for my humanity to bear, as a human being, as an individual,” explained Father Magee. “And yet, being a mediator of God’s grace, of the love of Christ and of God’s mercy, I would describe it as a very privileged place. At a certain moment, people are not coming to me as Father Matt, as an individual. They’re coming to experience Jesus. So it’s a privileged place that the Lord invites me to participate in his ministry.”
In that privileged place, the priests receive some of the worst of humanity: our sinfulness, our brokenness, our faults and failings. Yet, despite the metaphorical darkness of the content or the literal darkness of the confessional, the priests I spoke with can’t help but be blinded by the healing light of the Lord.
“So many persons seemingly, even in the confessional, despair of God’s mercy. ‘Can I be forgiven?’” Father Morehead told the Denver Catholic, adding that his answer is always a resounding “‘Yes!’ with assurance that the Lord is acting and will absolve you of your sins today. I will offer the absolution, but it’s God’s work fundamentally.”
Beyond the traditional confessional, nowhere is that dynamic more powerfully prevalent than in the ministry of our priests in local jails and prisons.
“Confessions in the prisons are very different. A lot of it is enlightening the conscience. Whereas I find somebody that’s been practicing their faith — maybe they don’t go to the confessional on an extremely frequent basis, but at least go once a year — they have a much better form of conscience than a lot of these people that are doing their sometimes first or second Confession in their life,” said one priest engaged in jail and prison ministry, who spoke on the condition of anonymity given the sensitivity of his work.
With severely limited time with each penitent, this priest — and, indeed, countless others with lengthy confession lines — does his best to educate, catechize and form consciences while dispensing mercy, encouragement and challenge. And God uses whatever short time is given to him, bringing his children — even those in prison — back into the fold.
“Seeing how God uses his mercy and love in a way that’s creative, that brings people back to spiritual life, or brings them to an experience of a deeper relationship, an experience of God’s presence in his own life, is always just a beautiful thing to be able to be witness to in the confessional,” that priest in prison ministry added. “What’s beautiful about that, too, is just to be able to offer these men and women the ability to return to their faith by one simple Confession.”
But what happens after such a mountaintop experience of mercy? After hearing the worst of humanity — whether in the context of prison or parish — and watching God heal and set free, what happens for the priest?
“Even more than the preparation time, I would say after Confessions, it’s important to just have a little prayer time. It doesn’t have to be long, but just to place everything in God’s mercy, because I’m sure that I didn’t do it perfectly with God’s will,” Father Bailey explained of the post-Confession experience. Knowing he could have done better by saying the right thing or being slightly more challenging or merciful, he said he prays that the Lord “make up for what is lacking in anything that I’ve done in these Confessions.
“I trust that he’s working with me, but I also trust that he’s much bigger than me and will make up for whatever’s lacking,” he continued.
While a beautiful and joyful experience to see mercy in action, coming face-to-face with the ugliness of sin and how it affects God’s children can be hard on priests, too. But, in this way, they continue to stand in Jesus’ person, having their hearts pierced as his was and carrying the weight of penitents’ crosses alongside them, even if only spiritually and from the other side of the screen.
“I've been able to feel that a couple of times, this jumping in to carry the weight of a sinner's sins, a penitent's sins,” explained Father Nguyen. “And for me, it's always been after, it's as the person leaves the confessional that I feel the weight and what they left behind. And it's a couple times out of a thousand, you know, but that's also an aspect of sitting in persona Christi is to feel the Cross too.”
“I find it wears on me more in the sense of the moral suffering. It’s not so much the sin itself as it is what I see it does to the person in front of me and the effect that sin had on them,” the priest involved in jail and prison ministry said, adding that he makes it a point to take the newly revived souls he meets in Confession to prayer, offering intercession for them through the Breviary, Mass and other offerings in reparation for sin.
“It’s not always this way, but there are definitely days when I walk away going, ‘I need to take some time to recoup myself,’ because I see how much suffering and just how much influence the Evil One has had over people in their different situations. But it’s not anything that I’m judging them. It’s not anything that ‘I can’t believe this!’ or ‘I’m shocked by this!’ I’m not. It’s just part and parcel to the assignment that I have in prison ministry. It’s kind of expected, a bit of a burden that I have to carry. And you just learn how to do that,” he continued.
It's worth noting that this weight is not carried in judgment or condemnation of anyone. In fact, every single priest I spoke with emphatically affirmed that they do not judge their penitents — full stop.
“There is no sin that can scandalize a priest because I think all of us do it with that spirit, realizing we’re sinners just like you,” Father Toledo said. “We go just like you to the mercy of God ourselves, and God has always been merciful.”
“I know I’m also a sinner in need of God’s mercy, and I have no place judging someone else for something that I could easily fall into as well,” added Father Hank. “Or even if it’s something I don’t struggle with, I have my own sins, and I don’t judge you for yours.”
“I see it as a place of humility when someone’s able to come, even if they themselves know that Father is going to know who they are, and still have the confidence to approach him as a sinner, knowing that he won’t judge me,” Father Magee shared. “I think that takes time. I think that requires a certain humility from the person because, I would say, as someone is approaching the sacrament of Confession, it should be an encounter with Jesus. It's a natural fear that people have on a human level, but when you go to Confession, it’s an encounter with the divine.”
As he enters the void between God and broken human nature, marred by sin, the priest gets to bring God’s healing and mercy and watch victory after victory take place in the lives of his children.
“Frequently, I’m given pause to thank God for humanity, which so desires good things but also is so prone to fall. So, I never despair of human nature, because I realize every time that someone’s there, there’s already a victory that’s been won. They got the courage up. They want the freedom. God’s grace has gone before them, and they’re here. And for me, in each of those moments, that’s already a victory won, and they just need to be received with mercy, a kindness and a love, and the reassurance that the Lord can forgive,” Father Morehead said.
“I always have a sense of hope every time these sins are confessed, because they’re being confessed,” he later added. “I know full well that we’ve got free will and that, at times, we all misuse it and sometimes certain persons gravely misuse it and with such frequency. The blessing is that they’re being confessed, forgiven, repented of and atoned for, and persons are moving on in conversion and healing. That’s what I get to be on the front line of and bear witness to. The sins happen out there. The mercy happens in here.”
Of course, though, the priest is human, just like each of us on the other side of the screen. Sometimes, that humanity can be painfully present in harsh counsel or a sharp tone in the confessional — words from the man rather than the Lord.
For the priests I spoke with, that weakness pains them, too. They, too, seek forgiveness from God for these and other faults. And they hope that anyone staying away from Confession because of a bad experience might be led by the Spirit to try again with another priest they trust.
“It pains me very much when I see people staying away from the confessional or even staying away from being active in their faith in the Catholic Church because of human mistakes,” the priest involved in jail and prison ministry shared.
“I just hope people will give it another try and recognize that whatever bad experience a person had in confession, or with a priest, or with any Catholic that has kept them away, that was one person. That person didn’t represent the Church, didn’t represent Christ in that moment,” Father Bailey added.
Just as Jesus is well acquainted with the sins of the penitent, the weakness of humanity, he is well aware of the weaknesses of his ministers. After all, Peter denied him thrice, and Paul persecuted the Church. Yet, through their hands and words, he chooses to make himself powerfully present in the sacraments.
“All throughout Scripture, all throughout sacramental theology, the sacraments are God using material people and things — say water, oil, bread, wine, flesh and bones, the hands of a priest — in order to convey his grace and his love in the sacraments,” Father Magee explained. “There should be something terrifying about that. Who am I? I’m not worthy. Who is this person? I don’t want him to hear me. And yet, God uses something ordinary and simple like that to communicate his grace.”
Now that brings us to the age-old question: Do these human men, through whom our Lord chooses to work, remember what we say in the confessional?
Sure, they hear thousands upon thousands of sins day in and day out. But do they actually forget it all when they leave the confessional, like I — and maybe you, too — have heard they do?
According to the priests I spoke with, the truth is not black-and-white. Some priests genuinely forget everything they hear, chalking it up to grace and the dullness of sin. Others, though, do not.
But what if that made the sacrament even more beautiful, rather than scary or intimidating? What if remembering our sins in the light of God’s mercy and compassion was actually a moment of profound grace, both for the priest and for the penitent?
“I’m not discouraged by our sinfulness. Christ knew it. He knew the brokenness of the human heart,” Father Morehead said, as one of the priests with a self-described sharp memory. “Jesus has never been scandalized by anything or anyone at any time, and those who would assume his person and wear his clothes have to join him in that work.
“If the memories come to me, what actually fills my heart and mind is a compassion when I see the person again because I understand their weakness, yet I see their goodness,” he continued. “I often tell people, ‘You’re just going to have to take my word for it. I will think more highly of you, not more lowly of you after this Confession.’ That doesn’t seem naturally possible, so perhaps it’s supernaturally possible, but it is true.”
“For me, it’s been rather easy to just leave something in the confessional. It may be that I remember the person’s sin, but I just genuinely don’t care. I know that they’ve started over. I know they’re repentant,” Father Bailey added. “So I don’t see them as any different than myself whenever I’ve needed to start over. For me, it doesn’t color the way that I look at them after I see them outside Confession.”
If, for some reason, the priest does happen to remember the sins confessed in the confessional, those sins are only “held in the light of Jesus,” Father Morehead explained. That memory — whether rare or common — is actually a catalyst for deeper compassion, love, respect and intercession, Father Nguyen added.
“If I remember something that a person struggles with when I see them outside [the confessional], I know you've been saved from this, and I can pray for you in a way that nobody else can because of what I know in secret. It's all positive, and one of the profound experiences I have is in the Communion line when I see people whose Confession I heard last week, and now I'm giving the same person Communion, the Body of Christ, whom I know you need in these ways, if I remember,” he shared.
In the person of Jesus, the priest who might remember your sin, who knows even the darker parts of your heart, mirrors Jesus’ own Sacred Heart and chooses to love you anyway, knowing that you have been redeemed, reconciled and set free.
For those still a bit nervous at the thought of Father remembering what you say in the confessional, it’s good to remember the seal of the confessional — the intense canonical prohibition against sharing or acting upon anything the priest hears in Confession. The priest who violates that seal is subject to excommunication, one of the Church’s most serious punishments!
“You know, a priest is not allowed to treat a person differently outside of Confession. I mean, that would be a breaking of the seal. It’s not just that I can’t talk about what your sin is outside the confessional; I can’t even act on knowledge that I’ve received in the confessional. That would be a breaking of the seal! So we work really hard to make sure that we’re not treating anybody differently,” Father Bailey explained.
In the end, whether they remember or not, however perfectly or imperfectly they hear those Confessions, the priests who dispense God’s mercy are there “to be the Lord’s instrument,” Father Morehead said.
“It’s all about him, his work and his encounter with his people. When those sins are received, the penance given and absolution offered, it’s all Jesus’ work, and it’s not mine to take from there anymore. So I don’t take it from the confessional. It belongs there and stays there and belongs to Jesus,” he told the Denver Catholic. “I try to make a little effort in my prayer at the beginning and the end, ‘These are your people, Lord. I love them on your behalf.’”
From the other side of the screen, our priests are loving, consoling and challenging us. They grieve alongside us for our sins, and they celebrate with us over the victories and healing Christ brings about.
“From eighth grade to university, frankly, all the way up to my little 90-year-olds, there’s no age that I have discovered that you can’t have powerful Confessions where something deeper, something more profound, something undiscovered in the soul starts to get healed,” Father Mussett commented.
“God’s mercy is constant, prevalent all the time. His mercy endures forever. Whether you go to Confession once a month or have not been in 10 or more years, there’s nothing that’s going to change the fact that God is merciful and he’s longing for us to return to him,” Father Magee added, encouraging the faithful to deepen their devotion to God’s mercy, which “endures forever,” according to the beautiful Psalm 136 prayed so frequently during the Easter season.
Before you run to the confessional, though, the priests interviewed had a few points of advice for your preparation and practice:
Make a good Examination of Conscience in the context of prayer. Ask the Holy Spirit to guide you, rather than making this a purely mental exercise.
Be specific but not detailed about your sins. Name them honestly, but avoid justifications, explanations or stories. It takes great humility to own what you’ve done and to submit them to God’s mercy! And know that, if Father needs more information about the circumstances, he will ask.
Confess only your sins, not those of others in your life. God can only heal them when they confess their own sins!
Leave behind any preconceived notions or agendas for your Confession and ask the Holy Spirit to work however he wants.
Head to Confession whenever there is mortal sin to confess and consider adding regular Confession to your spiritual practices for continued growth in relationship with the Lord. Work with a spiritual director to determine a cadence that makes sense for you — quarterly, monthly, biweekly, etc.
As you prayerfully prepare to head to our side of the screen to seek the Lord’s mercy and forgiveness, know that the priest on the other side — sitting in Jesus’ place — rejoices to receive you in Christ’s person, even if imperfectly.
“When we realize that we can be loved at the most painful place of our life, when we could be loved right there, then we can be loved,” Father Mussett said. “Because it’s the place where there are no masks.”
“I know that God’s grace is impactful. I’ve seen real growth,” Father Bailey added. “I know that God is there.”
In short, they, alongside Jesus himself, long to reconcile you with the Father, the community and yourself.
“Jesus is waiting for you. Jesus is longing for you. Jesus is searching for you. He is the Good Shepherd. He is the one who searches for the lost,” Father Magee concluded.
