What’s Happening to Young Men? A Catholic Look at a Growing Crisis

From nihilism to radical ideologies, many young men are searching for purpose — and not finding it.

(Photo: Unsplash, edited)

So, what is going on with young men these days?

I know, every generation in recent memory has asked the same question. Those young hooligans with their leather jackets. The hippies with their psychedelic vans. The weirdos in the parachute pants.

But those young men, for the most part, seemed to grow up to marry and become productive members of society. Today, we have a different problem entirely. Alarming numbers of young men are flocking to radical Islam. They are cheering assassins. They are falling down nihilistic SubReddits. Others, calling themselves “Groypers,” follow the rage-baiting Nick Fuentes into misogyny and antisemitism. Their goal, according to Rod Dreher, is not to improve society, but to “tear it all down.”

I have made no secret that I am a big fan of men. I like masculinity. I like men’s strength. I like their instincts for protectiveness. I like how different they are from me and from femininity in general. I like the way the two play off of each other. I like the way men love deeply, and yet theirs remains a distinctly masculine kind of love.

I am not, however, a fan of how masculinity can go wrong.

I think masculinity is one of God’s greatest inventions. And, like all of his inventions, it became vulnerable to distortion after the Fall. That distortion takes different forms in different places and different times.

In our era, I think young men are under particular attack.

Pope St. John Paul II, in the Theology of the Body, said that in studying the body, we learn about the person. And what do we learn from the male body? It is external. The male genitalia are outside the body. Men tend to be outwardly directed — they are about doing things. Their brains are particularly suited to focus, single-mindedness and blocking out distractions. They are strong. They have a higher overall percentage of muscle. And, thanks to an abundance of testosterone, they are overall more aggressive and more physically energetic than women are.

So, given all of this strength, aggression and energy, what do men need more than anything? A purpose. A goal. Men need a mission to channel all of that strength and energy in a positive direction, to use their masculine energy to build up the world. They need a cause — the bigger and more all-encompassing, the better.

Historically, men’s goals have been twofold. First, of course, is the pursuit of a woman. There is a reason why, in romantic relationships, men have traditionally been the pursuers. It’s in their nature, built into their biology. Once, years ago, I was contemplating running for Congress. I was mulling the decision over with a Washington insider friend. He said, “Darlin’, you’ve got to want it like a man wants a woman.” I knew exactly what he meant. And I didn’t want it that badly.

The second is a mission. A battle, a cause, a career — some way to make his mark on the world. And whatever battle he is fighting or career he is building, it is more rewarding because he is doing it for love — for his wife and his family. He wants to protect them, to provide for them, to build a better world for them.

But when young men don’t believe those productive goals are attainable, all of that energy can go off in different, destructive directions. Too many young men today aren’t pursuing women or building families. They are “black pilling.” Having concluded that the game is rigged, and only the best-looking and most successful men can attract a woman, they decide they can’t win, that love and marriage are not available to them and that their only option is to give up — to “lie down and rot.”

What’s worse, they blame women for their misery. All women.

So, they turn in on themselves. They isolate with violent video games and the degrading, misogynistic pornography available to them 24/7, with just a click of the phone. And their ideas about women and sexuality become even further warped.

They become depressed, misogynistic and violent. And that violence is often aimed at women.

Satan loves this. God gave men greater physical strength so that they would protect women. Now he entices them to despair, and they turn that strength, that beautiful gift of protectiveness, against those very women.

It all adds up to a very dangerous situation.

Of course, we aren’t talking about all young men. My nephews — sons of my siblings and my good friends — are wonderful young men pursuing beautiful goals. But even they say that they are alarmed by the dark holes they see many of their friends, classmates and co-workers falling into.

These young men are not happy. They need God, of course. And they need male role models — healthy men willing to show them the beauty of God’s plan and to convince them that it is not beyond their reach. I know this was a cause close to Charlie Kirk’s heart, and he was beautifully modeling the rewards of marriage and fatherhood.

Until a disaffected young man killed him.

I hope somebody picks up where he left off.  And please, do it soon.