Talking to Children About Violence: A Guide for Families and Educators
- Catholic Charities
- Sep 29
- 3 min read
By Dr. Angela Wall
St. Raphael Counseling, a ministry of Catholic Charities
Acts of violence, especially in schools, can leave children anxious and afraid. They may wonder if they or their loved ones are in danger. In these moments, children look to parents, teachers and caregivers for reassurance.
As people of faith, we are called to comfort our children, remind them of God’s loving presence, and guide them toward peace and hope.
Here are 10 things to consider when talking to your children about recent acts of violence, like those in Minneapolis, Evergreen, Utah and Michigan.
1. Reassure Children of Their Safety
Tell children they are safe and remind them that God has placed caring adults — parents, teachers, and community helpers — in their lives to protect them. Even though the news may seem frightening, schools remain among the safest places for children.
2. Listen and Validate Their Feelings
Every feeling is acceptable in the aftermath of a tragedy. Let children express their worries through words, drawings or play. Acknowledge their fears while also offering hope: violence is a real concern, but many good people are working to make the world a safer place.
3. Make Time for Conversation
Allow their questions to guide you. Younger children need simple reassurance that home and school are safe, while older children may want to discuss causes of violence and solutions. Remind them that while adults carry the primary responsibility for safety, students also play a crucial role by reporting threats, following school guidelines and treating others with respect.
4. Keep God in the Conversation
Pray with your children for victims of violence, for peace in our schools and for hearts to be healed. Remind them that Jesus calls us to be peacemakers and that God can bring good even out of terrible situations.
5. Review Safety and Support
Go over school and community safety measures. Encourage your child to identify trusted adults they can go to if they ever feel unsafe.
6. Watch for Signs of Distress
Children may show anxiety through changes in behavior, sleep or appetite. While most will recover with love and routine, some may need professional help — especially those with past trauma or special needs. Seek help early if you’re concerned.
7. Limit Media Exposure
Graphic images and constant news updates can heighten fear. Be mindful of what children hear in conversations and on social media. Instead, encourage family activities, prayer and time outdoors.
8. Correct Misinformation
Children may hear rumors or stereotypes about violence. Gently correct misunderstandings and remind them that most people, including those with mental illness, are not dangerous. Stress that violence never solves problems.
9. Maintain Routine and Healthy Habits
Normal routines — meals, rest, schoolwork, play — offer security. Encourage activities that foster joy, connection and gratitude.
10. Encourage Positive Action
Help others build resilience by inviting your children to pray, volunteer or participate in school and parish efforts that promote prayer and peace. Small acts of love can make a big difference.
Key Points to Emphasize with Children
Schools are safe places where adults work hard to protect you.
Adults are responsible for safety, but children can help by speaking up when something feels wrong.
Violence is never God’s answer; we are called to resolve conflict peacefully.
Guns and weapons are dangerous — always tell an adult if you see one.
Staying close to family, friends and God gives us strength and peace.
Even though violence is difficult to understand, our Catholic faith reminds us that Christ is with us always, especially in times of fear. With prayer, love and trust in God’s care, families and schools can help children feel secure and grow as instruments of peace.
