Our Children in the Age of Screens: A Faith-Filled Reflection for Parents
- Catholic Charities
- 9 hours ago
- 6 min read
By Dr. Angela Wall
Licensed Clinical & School Psychologist
St. Raphael Counseling, a ministry of Catholic Charities
As parents and grandparents of children in 2025, we face many unique challenges strikingly different from past generations. The one thing we do have in common is our love for our children and our faith in God. We treasure our families and cherish the time we have together. We value the beauty and innocence of childhood. God's light shines on our families as we say a prayer around the table, play a game in the backyard, or, maybe, have a family movie night complete with popcorn.
Setting the Stage: Drastic Changes
Times have changed dramatically, and screens, phones and technology have been woven through every aspect of our lives. As a clinical and school psychologist, I have noticed the gradual change in children and families as devices began to take hold in the late 1990s and early 2000s. As technology became more prevalent, I observed a shift in our children. The eyes that once looked outward, toward the beauty of the world and the humanity of others, began slowly looking downward toward an artificial world on a colorful and mesmerizing screen.
I saw how technology began to impact not only our children’s social and emotional development but also their cognitive and, most importantly, spiritual development. I began seeing children who were unable to make eye contact, not only with adults but also with peers. Kids came to see me who had no notion of how to discuss and resolve conflicts in person, yet were skilled at bullying online or over texts.
Anxiety and depression, which I typically did not see until adolescence, became a common theme among much younger children. My students in the schools and clients in the clinic were presenting with increasing levels of aggressive behavior and diminishing levels of coping skills. Many children felt fearless in the fantasy world of screens, yet were petrified when facing challenges in the real world.
In short, it’s difficult to make friends and interact with people when you are always wearing headphones.
As COVID entered our lives, the shift inward, toward selfies and screens, became more and more alarming. Through no fault of their own, parents needed to use screens as temporary childcare while they attempted to work from home. Our kids were exposed to online content that their young, still-developing minds could not process and cope with.
For those interested in a deeper dive exploring the history and impact of social media on our society, I recommend reading The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt. For busy parents and grandparents with less time, I’ll try to summarize some of the key points in the book, and then I will conclude with some positive strategies that can make a change for the better in the lives of our kids in the age of technology.
Childhood Before Phones: A World of Play and Presence
Once upon a time — and perhaps not so long ago for many of us — childhood unfolded through play-based adventures. As a child in the 1970s, I remember playing unsupervised after school in our neighborhood, “until the streetlights came on,” when we would all hurry back home. Kids in past generations rode their bikes through neighborhood streets, pedaling a real bike! They climbed trees and fell out of trees. They skinned their knees and put a Band-Aid on them themselves. A rainy day was celebrated because it created mud puddles that were a joy to splash in. They learned resilience, sportsmanship and self-reliance through unsupervised — and frequently unstructured — playtime. These were healthy formative experiences. Children were meant to learn through play. Imagination, problem-solving and creativity develop through free exploration and unstructured play.
The Arrival of the “Phone-Based Childhood”
In The Anxious Generation, Haidt shares several alarming statistics. From roughly 1998 to about 2010, the rate of adolescents reporting anxiety and depression was fairly stable. Then, around 2012, rates of anxiety, depression, self-harm and suicide surged — nearly doubling, especially among girls. He calls this pivotal change the “Great Rewiring of Childhood.”
This rewiring is twofold:
The decline of play-based childhood, ongoing since the 1980s, as safety fears and structured schedules dwindled children’s unsupervised outdoor time.
The simultaneous rise of the phone-based childhood (late 2000s/early 2010s), as smartphones, high-speed internet, social media and addictive apps became part of the fabric of childhood and adolescence.
By 2015, most teens were on smartphones — no longer flip phones — and social media platforms became central to their daily lives. Hours of entertainment became mandatory screen time if a young person was to maintain a social life. Hours spent in person with friends turned into hours on the screen obsessing over likes, filters, comparisons and relentless input.
Comparing Then and Now: Two Childhoods in Contrast
Social Interaction | Developmental Experiences | Mental Health | Spiritual Formation | |
Play-Based (Before) | Face-to-face play, physical presence, unsupervised | Risk-taking, resilience, independence | Relatively stable through late 2000s | In person, nature-based wonder and spiritual community |
Phone-Based (Now) | Virtual interactions, curated feeds, addictive apps | Fragmented attention, sleep loss, social anxiety, loneliness | A dramatic rise in anxiety, depression, self-harm | Disconnection, comparison, spiritual emptiness |
Social Development and Loneliness
Smartphones promised connection — but, as Haidt observes, they often delivered loneliness. Despite being “connected,” many adolescents report fewer close friends and more isolation. The virtual replaces the visceral: no hand in a friend’s, no spontaneous laughter, no eye contact!
Mental Health: Surge in Anxiety and Depression
Between 2010 and 2019, rates of depression and anxiety among U.S. youth nearly doubled; suicide rates rose sharply — 131% for girls aged 10–14, and 48% among ages 10–19. The sharpest increase aligns with smartphone and social media proliferation.
Differential Impact: Girls and Boys are different!
Girls often face intense pressure from image-based platforms like Instagram, which can distort self-esteem through filtered lives and comparison traps. Cyberbullying adds another layer — relational aggression made 24/7 via social media causes anxiety, depression and self-harm. You can no longer hide from bullies in your safe home at night. Social media follows you everywhere.
Boys, while less focused on social media, often retreat into gaming, pornography or digital escapism. This leads to isolation, disconnection and struggles entering adulthood (“failure to launch’).
Sleep Deprivation, Attention Fragmentation, Addiction
As I talk with other therapists and counselors, we all agree that Haidt’s four foundational harms of this phone-based era — social deprivation, sleep deprivation, attention fragmentation and addiction — are the most relevant and disruptive behaviors we see in children today. Devices glow into the night, interrupting sleep; constant notifications break attention; platforms are built to be compulsive — and children’s still-forming brains are especially vulnerable.
Spiritual Degradation
Haidt speaks of a broader spiritual degradation stemming from a life dominated by screens. Traditional spiritual practices — silence, real-world community, embodiment, awe in creation — are scarce in digital realms. As Catholics, we know that the lived, sacramental, embodied faith matters — not screens’ filtered, curated false narratives.
A Gentle Catholic Response: Faith-Rooted Wisdom for Parents
While the picture seems daunting, we as parents and grandparents must have faith and hope in our children. The Anxious Generation offers hopeful paths forward — grounded in action, community and faith.
Four New Norms for a Healthier Childhood
Haidt outlines four “new norms” to reverse our mistakes:
No smartphones before high school
No social media before age 16
Phone-free schools
More independent, unsupervised play and community embedding
These norms help families move together, avoiding the “if my child is the only one without a phone” dilemma. If enough parents unite, social pressure shifts — and these norms become viable, faith-filled choices. I am seeing more and more thoughtful teenagers voluntarily giving up their smartphones in exchange for simpler flip phones or no phones at all.
Ultimately, children are wiser than we think. They see firsthand the problems created by phones and make wise choices on their own (sometimes much to the surprise of their parents!).
Reclaiming Space for Wonder and Play
Our children need real-world encounters: climbing trees, playing tag, sharing prayers, helping with chores, marveling at the stars and building friendships face-to face. These are spaces where grace, resilience, humility and joy grow.
Collective Faith Communities as Anchors
Haidt speaks of “collective action problems,” when individual parents feel they must conform. But Catholic parishes and parent groups can be places of unity. A parish-wide commitment to delaying phones, to “phone-free weekends” and to shared outdoor events becomes not just policy but a living sign of the Kingdom among us.
Teaching Discipleship in the Digital Age
From early grades, we can equip children with media literacy, critical thinking and spiritual discernment. We can encourage active, enabling parenting for younger children and observant, prayer-filled guidance for adolescents. We can remind them that their worth is not in likes or filters but in being made in the image and likeness of God.
Conclusion: Walking Together Toward Hope
Dear parents, change is possible, and you are not alone in your frustration. Model healthy habits for your children. Children watch you far more than they listen to you! Be present. Be a role model.
Our calling is to form children who are antifragile — capable of meeting challenges, rooted in relationships, steeped in faith. In resisting the lure of endless screens, we are offering them something far richer: embodied friendship, sacramental encounter, community, work, rest, creation and the voice of God in their hearts.
Parents acting together can shift norms quickly. As Catholic families, let us be pioneers in reclaiming childhood: one blessing, one outdoor game, one "no phones today" and one shared prayer at a time.
