Marriage in an Apostolic Age

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We are living in what many have described as an “apostolic age,” like the first centuries of the Church, when Christians proclaimed the Gospel in a world that did not share their assumptions about God, truth or the purpose of human life. In that time, Christians lived, loved and worshipped differently than the world. And in doing so, they drew others to the beauty of Christ.

In our own time, the cultural foundations that once supported Christian life have weakened, and many people today encounter the Church’s teaching not as something familiar but foreign. Few realities demonstrate this more clearly than marriage.

Yet marriage is not a secondary issue in the life of the Church. It is one of the most important “front lines” of evangelization today. In this apostolic age, Catholic marriages are a profound sign of God’s plan for humanity and a great source of hope for society. They tend to confound secular society, which has embraced many false teachings on marriage.

Marriage as a Living Witness to God's Plan

Christian marriage is far more than a social institution, legal contract or romantic partnership. Marriage is part of God’s design, written into creation itself, meant to reveal who we are and what we were made for: communion, fruitfulness and faithful love.

St. Paul, writing to the Ephesians, offers a striking description of marriage, teaching that the union between husband and wife is meant to reflect Christ’s union with his Church. “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ loved the Church and handed himself over for her” (Ephesians 5:25).

This is a bold claim: marriage is intended to image the covenant love of Jesus as a sign to the world. When a man and woman live the sacrament faithfully, the world is reminded that love is possible, truth matters, commitment is good and God’s plan is not restrictive but life-giving. In Matrimony, the world perceives the worth of what God has revealed: we are created for a love that is permanent, faithful and fruitful.

Importantly, the hardships of marriage do not remove this testimony but deepen it. The witness becomes more relatable when couples endure suffering, persevere through difficulties and remain faithful even when it is costly. The world does not need perfect marriages; it needs marriages anchored in Jesus Christ and strengthened by grace.

Learning to Love is the Most Difficult Work of Our Lives

At the heart of marriage is love. Love is a decision, an act of the will, seeking the good of the other, a virtue, a daily act of self-gift.

One of our priests here in the archdiocese, when preparing couples for Matrimony, often reminds them: “You do not get married because you are in love; you get married to learn how to love.” Those words contain deep wisdom.

Marriage is a school of love. To love well demands sacrifice, patience and growth in virtue. It requires not putting myself first, the willingness to die to self, sometimes in very ordinary ways: listening when you would rather speak, forgiving when you would rather hold on to resentment, serving when you feel tired or misunderstood.

Again, St. Paul directs our attention to Christ. Jesus loved the Church not with sentiment but with the total gift of himself. In a truly Christian marriage, both husband and wife are called to this mutual self-gift. This is not a one-sided task. Each spouse is called to give, receive, serve and seek the good of the other.

This sacrificial love is, paradoxically, the secret to joy. A marriage rooted in self-gift becomes a place of peace, stability and hope. When spouses live for one another in Christ, they discover that the Lord does not diminish their happiness but makes it possible.

A Witness the World Urgently Needs

Today, the witness of strong Catholic marriages is vital. Pope St. John Paul II once said, “As the family goes, so goes the nation, and so goes the whole world in which we live” (Homily, November 30, 1986).

This truth is visible all around us. When families flourish, society is strengthened. When families fracture, society suffers. Because the family is the “domestic Church,” the health of family life is inseparable from the vitality of our parishes and the Church’s mission.

But loving well today is not easy. Many temptations and forces pull couples inward rather than outward. The consuming nature of technology, constant access to passive entertainment and the intense demands of work and productivity can quietly erode the time, attention and tenderness that marriage requires.

All of these compete for our affection and make it difficult to love one’s spouse with the deliberate generosity that marriage demands.

Yet this is precisely why marriage is such a powerful witness in an apostolic age. A faithful husband and wife proclaim with their lives that love is not a passing emotion but a vocation, a covenant and a path to holiness.

Every authentic Christian marriage also points beyond itself toward the ultimate union we are all made for: the Wedding Feast of the Lamb, when Christ and his Bride, the Church, will be united forever in Heaven.

In this apostolic age, I want to encourage every married couple: love courageously. Love sacrificially. Love patiently. The world needs your witness. Your marriage is not only for you; it is for the salvation of souls. Through your fidelity, your children learn how to hope. Through your perseverance, others see what is possible. Through your love, the Gospel becomes credible. I have had many engaged and married couples, who, when they learn the Gospel vision of marriage and live it, share that their lives continue to grow in joy, hope and intimacy, even in times of suffering and trials, because it is rooted in God’s love as Jesus has revealed it to us.

May the Lord strengthen all married couples with the grace of the sacrament, and may our families become radiant signs of God’s plan in this apostolic age.