Making Disciples: Discern Who to Accompany

Before he chose his disciples, Jesus went up the mountain to pray intentionally. Like him, we who are evangelizers (hint: every Catholic!) are called to pray about whom he's calling us to accompany. (Photo: Lightstock)

Ok. So you’re Catholic.

But not only that.

You’re a true disciple of Jesus.

You’ve encountered him in the Eucharist. You’re a disciplined follower of his. You have an anchored desire to imitate him in every aspect of your life. You’re committed to a lifelong adventure of ever-deepening conversion.

And because of these things, you want to help fulfill the Great Commission and make other disciples.

So. Where do you begin?

The short answer: what the Archdiocese of Denver — and many other dioceses and apostolates — call intentional accompaniment.

The long answer: Looking at our relational orbit, we intentionally discern who we can patiently guide toward a life of authentic discipleship with Christ.

This is exactly what Jesus did.

In Luke 6, Jesus goes up a mountain and spends the night in prayer. As morning breaks, he returns from the mountain and chooses the twelve men he will designate to be his apostles.

Reading between the lines, it’s safe to assume that his night of prayer up on that mountain was spent actively discerning which twelve men he would intentionally accompany over the next three years. 

Jesus consulted the Father before moving forward, and as his disciples (read: replicas), we must do the same.

Our intentional accompaniment must be intentional! 

Our intentional accompaniment is ultimately the Lord’s work, so we must engage the Lord in the work!

Right now, there is someone, or some small group of people, whom God wants to encounter through you. He wants to partner with you in making them disciples! He has positioned you, with all your unique experiences and gifts, in close proximity to this person or group so that you can effectively witness to them.

And not only that! God wants to encounter you through this person or group. Through your efforts to help build this person or persons into disciples, God wants to draw you closer to him and build you into an even more authentic disciple.

Your job is to simply approach God and ask for clarity in who that person(s) is/are.

Some people overthink this step and paralyze themselves, unable to clearly discern who the Lord is inviting them to accompany. To those people, I would say notice how Jesus spent just one night in prayer before acting. He was quick, but he wasn’t rash. He moved and trusted that the Father would provide. Sometimes the best way to discern is to simply pray about it and then take a step forward in faith.

Others already have a hunch about whom to accompany, so they skip this step entirely. To those people, I would say this can admittedly be an easy step to skip, but it’s arguably the most crucial.

While on a recent silent retreat, my wife’s retreat master told her, "The tell-tale sign of a true Christian is discernment." I was skeptical at first when she relayed this to me, but after mulling it over for the past few months, I think this priest’s wisdom checks out.

Discernment implies a living relationship with God — listening for, hearing and choosing to be obedient to his voice. One cannot discern if one is not first a disciple, and if one truly is a disciple, then he or she discerns!

This step in making disciples — discerning who to intentionally accompany — lays the foundation for the rest of your intentional accompaniment, because discernment will not be a one-and-done event. It will be something you come back to every other step of the way.

So, as you go about discerning who the Lord is inviting you to intentionally accompany, here are some tips to keep in mind:

1. You’re discerning a person to accompany, not a project to complete.

As you begin the process of intentionally accompanying someone and making disciples, it’s important to remember to view the people you will accompany through the eyes of Christ. 

In Matthew 9:36, when Jesus “saw the crowds, he had compassion for them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.”

In Matthew 20:34, when Jesus sees two blind men by the roadside, “Moved with compassion, Jesus touched their eyes. Immediately, they regained their sight and followed him.”

In Luke 7:13, when Jesus saw a widow mourning the death of her only son, “he had compassion for her and said to her, ‘Do not weep.’”

Jesus looked upon all those whom he encountered with compassion. As his disciples and imitators, we must always keep this in mind. We must enter into our discernment with a compassionate heart, asking the Lord who he wants us to love and share life with, rather than thinking of someone we can fix.

Compassionless discernment is the recipe for an evangelization scheme, while compassionate discernment is the recipe for true evangelization to take root.

2. Local and practical always trumps distant but influential.

Jesus spent his ministry with willing men who were in his proximity before his Holy Spirit empowered those same men to expand beyond Judea and reach all nations.

As awesome as it would be to accompany your old high-school-classmate-turned-Silicon-Valley-billionaire, there is probably someone closer to you with more availability who you can be more effective in reaching (unless you live in Silicon Valley — then by all means, accompany your alma mater’s tech bro).

And as awesome as it would be to amass hundreds of thousands of followers on social media to make disciples, there is a more practical, immediate means God is offering you. We don’t need more influencers; we need more intentional accompaniers.

There’s a reason you are where you are, at this time, surrounded by the people you’re surrounded by. As you discern, start there.

3. Praying about who to accompany naturally entails praying for them as well!

Prayer was at the heart of Jesus’ ministry, so prayer should be at the heart of our ministry.

Jesus didn’t discern his apostles in Luke 6, come down from the mountain and then never pray for them again.

No! When he came down from that mountain, I imagine he seriously amplified his prayer for those twelve men. As he intentionally accompanied them, he intentionally interceded for them. 

After we pray about who to accompany, let’s not forget to pray for those people, as the real work will have just begun!

More on that work in my columns to come…