How to Pray as a Mother with Young Kids

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This is a summary of talks I have given on a “postpartum spirituality,” which technically means “after birth.” Having a child changes you not just for six weeks, but for your life. The season after having a baby, or having all young kids (under the age of 5, let’s say), is demanding and always changing. The Lord meets us in the midst of those demands; it just may look different for a season.

Each season causes a different aspect of growth. Yes, your relationship with God is the most important thing. But this season doesn’t need to be filled with waking up before the kids for quiet prayer time. You were awake all night!

So, how do we put God first when every waking moment seems to be dedicated to our children?

Before having kids, I thought I had it together. I figured God was pretty proud of me for serving him so well. And that’s why I needed kids! Birthing four babies in six years, I came face to face with my inadequacies and failures. Putting God first meant recognizing my own desperate need for a Savior.

For me, babies became a season of mercy, of discovering God’s presence all throughout the day. I had previously worked for the Church, where I had years of dedicated prayer time, so the lesson God needed to teach me was to find him outside the chapel. God doesn’t want just our good parts and our best offerings. He wants our cries of exhaustion and despair, coming from the deepest places of emptiness and brokenness.

There is nothing God loves more than filling our empty spaces, transforming our brokenness into something glorious. I had to learn that God is not asking for perfection but surrender. I had to learn the beauty of repentance: acknowledging my failures and asking for mercy has changed me for the better. Now, I can look back and see that God was with me in the struggle, that my kids are a gift, and that the journey is worth it.

Also, a house full of noise taught me the necessity of silence. I didn’t appreciate it as much before children, but now I long for quiet prayer. I have older kids that I can leave at home for my weekly holy hour. I have children who sleep through the night, and I can get up earlier. But my prayer life is so much richer precisely because of the struggle, surrender and search for God in those early years of motherhood when I felt like I could never pray “right” or “enough.”

Before I give mothers some practical takeaways, let me tell the story of St. Faustina and the pot of potatoes.

St. Faustina recounts in her Diary how one of her jobs was to drain the large pot of potatoes in the kitchen. Because of her poor health, the job was very difficult for her, so she began to shy away from it, not from a lack of willingness but ability. The other sisters took notice. So, St. Faustina came honestly to God in her prayer and complained of her weakness. Jesus responded by saying he would strengthen her to do the job easily.

She trusted the Lord’s words and effortlessly poured the pot that night. But when she took the lid off, she saw a bunch of red roses, beautiful beyond description. Then she heard a voice within her saying, “I change such hard work of yours into bouquets of most beautiful flowers, and their perfume rises up to my throne.” (Diary 65). Now, I don’t know what they ended up eating for dinner that night, but I do know that from then on, St. Faustina was the first to offer to drain the potatoes or do any other burdensome task because she trusted that God was with her.

The Catechism reaffirms this same truth for the laity: “For all their works, prayers and apostolic undertakings, family and married life, daily work, relaxation of mind and body, if they are accomplished in the Spirit — indeed even the hardships of life if patiently born — all these become spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ” (CCC 901).

Mothers, the work you are doing raising your kids is indeed hard work! But when you offer all of your vocation to the Father, he blesses your work and makes it an acceptable offering. If you look toward Christ each day, if your heart and will are turned toward God, you don’t have to be disappointed at failing in prayer. It just may look different in this season.

Please hear me: prayer time alone with God is still important. Sunday Mass is non-negotiable. A holy hour every other week with women sustained me in hard times. A few minutes to read the readings, a decade of the Rosary here or there. But the main event of these “postpartum” years was communing with him during my everyday chores. Finding quiet moments with God in my heart became the defining feature of this season of prayer, even when everything else around me felt like a dumpster fire.

The truth is that I cannot tell you what your day of prayer should look like, which prayers to pray and when. But I can tell you the three qualities of prayer: consistency, honesty and humility.

Consistency is where you show up daily to do your tasks — like dishes, feeding and laundry. Invite Jesus to do them with you while finding moments to connect with him throughout the day. It means carving a bit of quiet each day and exchanging your scrolling or TV shows for spiritual reading or reflection.

Honesty requires looking inside and being sincere about where you are in your relationship with God. You don’t hide the worst parts from God because he loves you in your mess. He doesn’t want you to be a perfect mom. He wants you to be a surrendered mom who depends on him. To do that, we need humility, to repent of the times we’ve failed and to ask God for his help to try again.

There isn’t a “right” way to pray in this season if you are consistent, honest and humble. Remember, he’s a good and merciful Father who loves you, and his grace is sufficient for you (2 Corinthians 12:9).