Before You Buy the New Backpack…
By Jordan Langdon, LCSW
Parent Coach
Families of Character
There's something about August that feels like another New Year.
Maybe it's the stacks of school supplies in every store or the calendar that suddenly fills up overnight. Whatever it is, we all start thinking the same thing: This year is going to be different.
We promise ourselves we'll be more organized. Mornings won't be so rushed. Homework won't become a nightly battle. Family dinners will happen more often.
And then... life.
If you're like me, before jumping into planning for the new school year, it's worth taking a breath and looking backward for just a few minutes.
That may sound strange. Shouldn't we be looking ahead?
Not necessarily.
Throughout Scripture, God continually asks his people to remember. Before he sends them forward, he reminds them to look back and notice where he has been faithful. Looking back isn't about dwelling on what went wrong. It's about recognizing the gifts we've already been given.
As parents, we don't often give ourselves permission to do that.
Instead, we replay our failures. We remember the mornings we lost our patience. The permission slips we forgot to sign. The evenings that ended with everyone exhausted. But what if we also remembered the things that worked?
Maybe your family finally figured out a breakfast everyone enjoyed. Maybe bedtime prayers became a treasured tradition. Maybe Taco Tuesday saved your sanity more than once. Maybe your child opened up every afternoon during the drive home from school.
Those moments matter. In fact, they're often where family culture is built.
Families of Character's free reflection guide is designed around that simple idea. Before making new plans, it invites you and your spouse to look back at last school year and ask, "What do we want to repeat? What do we want to leave behind?"
I love that approach because we so often look for brand-new solutions when God has already shown us what brings peace to our family.
One idea from the guide has stayed with me for years.
It points to what Families of Character calls the "Windows of Influence" — the first three minutes after your child wakes up, the first three minutes after you reconnect after school and the last three minutes before bedtime.
Nine minutes. That's it.
Nine ordinary minutes that have an extraordinary opportunity to communicate, "I'm glad you're here. You matter. God has entrusted you to me."
As Catholics, we know grace is often found in ordinary things. Bread and wine become the Eucharist. Water becomes the beginning of new life.
Simple family routines can become moments where children experience the love of Christ through their parents.
Maybe it's tracing the Sign of the Cross on your child's forehead before they leave for school. Maybe it's putting your phone away when they climb into the car after school, so they know they have your full attention. Maybe it's ending every night with a blessing instead of one last reminder about tomorrow's homework.
None of those moments requires perfection. They simply require presence.
The Church often calls the family the "domestic church." I've always loved that phrase because it reminds me that our homes are where faith becomes real. Children learn about forgiveness because they watch us apologize. They learn generosity because they watch us serve. They learn about God's unconditional love because they experience ours.
As another school year begins, perhaps the most important question isn't, "How do we get everyone out the door on time?"
It's, "Who do we want to become as a family this year?"
The schedules matter. The homework matters. The sports, activities and routines all have their place.
But none of them is the goal.
The goal is to raise children who know they are deeply loved by God and who experience a little glimpse of that love every single day in their own home.
If you'd like a practical place to begin, I encourage you to download Families of Character's free reflection guide. Set aside an hour with your spouse after the kids are in bed. Pour a cup of tea — or maybe a glass of wine — and simply talk. Celebrate what went well. Laugh about what didn't. Ask God to guide the year ahead.
Then, listen together to Episode 62 of the Families of Character Show, "Best Practices for a Smooth Transition Back to School." It's a natural companion to the reflection guide and offers practical ideas to help you prepare for the year with greater intention.
After all, preparing for back-to-school isn't really about backpacks or lunchboxes. It's about preparing hearts, including our own.
Interested in Couples Coaching?
