25 Years After 9/11, An Air Force Deacon Remembers Courage and Sacrifice
Deacon Clarence Johnson was inside the Pentagon when American Airlines Flight 77 struck. The sacrificial love he witnessed that day taught him what it means to lay down one’s life for another.
By Deacon Clarence Johnson
“Greater love has no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” John 15:13
Sept. 11, 2001, began much like any other day at the Pentagon — hectic.
I worked in requirements for the Defense Department’s aircraft portfolio. My office on the Joint Staff was located on the first floor, on the outer section of the Pentagon’s east side. I arrived at 7:15 a.m. and was working on a project assigned to me by my boss, a three-star general, who, for the purposes of this story, I will call “Lieutenant General Bruce.”
Ten minutes after the first aircraft flew into the Trade Center North Tower, we learned of it. Was it terrorism? At 9:03 a.m., all doubts were removed when the second plane struck the South Tower. Our nation was under attack.
We felt uneasy, sensing something else was imminent. But where? The answer came at 9:37 a.m. — when American Airlines Flight 77 crashed into the Pentagon, ultimately killing 184 people, including passengers and those inside the building. Incredibly, we felt no physical effects and weren’t told about the plane crash. The Pentagon is massive — the nation’s largest low-rise office building, containing 6.5 million square feet of office space and over 17.5 miles of corridors. The attack occurred on the west side — about as far from us as could be.
Instead, at 9:39 a.m., we were notified an “explosive device” had detonated, and we were ordered to evacuate, meeting at our rally point several hundred yards away. From there we could see thick black smoke bellowing from the building, belying the initial explanation. The small group that I gathered with consisted of Lieutenant General Bruce, an Army colonel, a Navy captain and two Marine colonels. We passed the time talking about possible next steps for our country.
At roughly 11:15 a.m., a Marine came running past us shouting that firefighters were looking for volunteers to go back into the building to rescue survivors. As I stood there contemplating the invitation, I looked up and saw Lieutenant General Bruce quietly walking down the path towards a fire truck parked 200 yards from us, saying something like, “Let’s do it. I want to go back in.” The image of this very senior officer taking off his rank — expecting no special treatment and going well beyond his official duty — moved me and the others gathered with us outside. That sealed it; we were all going.
This wasn’t the first time Lieutenant General Bruce had made such a choice. As a colonel serving in the first Gulf War, he led an Air Force fighter wing that was ordered to strike targets in a heavily defended section of Iraq. Then-Colonel Bruce chose to lead the fighter wing into battle himself, even though he wasn’t required to. It was incredibly selfless, and it buoyed the spirits of those who flew with him that night.
At 11:30 a.m., nearly a dozen men representing all branches of the U.S. military lined up at a door on the ground level of the Pentagon Center Courtyard, close to the aircraft’s path of destruction. We were told to remove any metal rank or insignia and to take off the polyester uniform shirts, which would melt in the flames. Wearing no protective gear, each of us volunteers was lashed together by a long, thick rope and tethered to the firefighters in the lead positions, preparing to begin our rescue operation.
In that moment, I’m embarrassed to say that several difficult thoughts flashed through my mind: “Am I ready for this?” “I’ve never entered a burning building before.” “Have I really thought this through?” A firefighter looked back at us and soberly said, “Get ready. We’re going in! It’s going to be hot.”
We barely made it through the doorway before being forced to retreat due to the choking smoke and intense flames. We spent the rest of the afternoon manning Center Courtyard triage stations and assisting first responders.
We were all very disappointed and felt like we had failed, but we learned something important — that we were each willing and capable of dying to ourselves for the sake of others. In imitation of Christ, Lieutenant General Bruce inspired us to follow him in the example of Christ. You see, Jesus, the architect of life, also modeled how to die to oneself so that we might experience the fullness of life in this world and the next — through radical love of others. For “greater love has no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:13).
Although our own small group was not successful in carrying out any heroic rescues, courage and a willingness to lay down one’s life were on full display at the Pentagon on 9/11. That courage was exemplified by the Navy officers who braved flames and smoke to save the life of a man pinned down at his desk by a wall that had collapsed on him. It was exemplified by the Army officer who chose to save her colleagues and not only herself by guiding them through the darkness, fire and smoke to safety — even carrying an elderly woman on her back so that she wouldn’t be left behind. And it was characterized by a leader — Lieutenant General Bruce — who followed Christ's example by being willing to “sell all” in the hope of saving others.
As our nation marks the 25th anniversary of 9/11, I honor those lost and the heroes who saved lives in New York, in the skies over Pennsylvania and at the Pentagon. Their self-sacrifice turned ashes into beauty and revealed the best of us. I grieve too with those who lost family and friends.
The memory of 9/11 stays with me and continues to shape my vocation as a permanent deacon. It taught me that we must first learn to die in order to live; and to do this well, we must follow Christ both in commitment and in practice. It prompts me to ask how God is preparing or calling me through each new circumstance.
Whatever the answer, I have decided it is always best to rise and meet the moment. I pray you are inspired to do the same as you remember our fallen and our heroes and discern God’s purpose for your life.
A native of Austin, TX, Deacon Clarence "C.J." Johnson Jr. served in the Air Force for 27 years on active duty, commanding at various levels. He served in various roles in the Pentagon on five separate occasions on the Air Staff, the Staff of the Secretary of Defense and the Staff of the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs. Upon retirement from the Air Force in 2015, he served as an Assistant Secretary for the Department of Homeland Security's Counter Weapons of Mass Destruction Office. He entered formation for the diaconate in 2019 in the Diocese of Colorado Springs and was ordained in 2024. He currently serves at Corpus Christi Parish in Colorado Springs and is the assistant director for diaconate formation in the Diocese of Colorado Springs. He and his wife, Sheila, have been married for 22 years.
