When Love Clears the Mirror: 3 Ways to Look Past Appearances This Year

(Photo: Lightstock)

During my morning prayer, I was reading 1 Corinthians 13 when I was struck by the verse that says, “For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall understand fully, even as I have been fully understood” (1 Corinthians 13:12).

The Ignatius Study Bible notes that ancient Corinth manufactured polished bronze “mirrors.” Although known for their excellent quality, the reflected image was nonetheless hazy and indistinct (p. 2041).

As I reflected on that concept (see what I did there?), it occurred to me that most people in the ancient world probably had only a vague idea of what they truly looked like. If polished bronze was the best they had, their reflections would be hazy and indistinct.

In contrast, I look into a perfectly clear glass mirror over a dozen times a day today. I know all too well my wrinkles, spots and grey hairs. And then we have 4K cameras and HD TVs to capture every pixel, and even social media to accentuate or polish our image. Yet in our plethora of mirror-like images, I think we see less of ourselves than people in the ancient world saw themselves.

That’s because while man looks at the outward appearance, God looks at the heart (1 Samuel 16:7). We invest so much in presenting our best physical image, but one day, this body will decay. When we see God face-to-face, our true inner selves will be reflected in our resurrected bodies. We will be fully known, and what will be revealed? Something heavenly or hellish?

That thought compels me to look at my inner self, as well as strive to see past the surface facades of those around me.

One image that comes to mind is from the recent SEEK 2026 conference in Denver. All throughout the Gaylord conference center, I beheld every nook, corner and chair occupied by people knowing each other and being known. There were two or three heads drawn together in deep conversation here, while another larger group was engaged in laughter, prayer and sometimes singing over there. In the sea of six thousand people, what I rarely saw was a single person engrossed in their phone. It was a hopeful vision of what it means to look past the outer image and see the heart, to live the faith authentically and joyfully with other people.

1 Corinthians 13 is all about how love is the greatest virtue, and when all else passes away, only love will remain. In Heaven, we will no longer have need for faith and hope, and love will be perfected.

What if we really began to let love transform us now? We live in the loneliest society ever. All people ever see is what we let them see, and most of us are hiding behind makeup, selfies or putting on a good show for others.  We are afraid that if we are fully known, we won’t be loved, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. It’s the only way to be loved.

So, in the spirit of St. Paul’s more excellent way of love, I invite you to consider a few ways to see past the outer image and look into the heart this year.

Love of Neighbor

My mind primarily goes to the parish. How many years did I wait for someone to introduce themselves to us after Mass or invite us to an event at the parish? I assumed other moms didn’t like me, but it turns out that they were just as reserved as I was. I now look for opportunities to meet new families and to let them know it is good that they are there.

Who is someone you can reach out to at your parish to say “hi” and introduce yourself? Help your neighbors to be known. Especially look for those who are juggling young children and could use a kind word of encouragement.

Love of Family

It’s all too easy to get swept up in the daily cycle of barking out orders to the kids or handing off chores to your spouse.

When was the last time you looked your family members in the eyes and really saw them?

Do we pause to take time to discover their inner world, or do we just see the outside: if the homework got done, the trash taken out, the laundry changed?

Family should be the place where we are known and loved the deepest.

Love of God

As I browse my old journals, I am struck by the number of times I have heard God say in Adoration, “Look at me.” Contemplative prayer is described in the Catechism of the Catholic Church as a gaze of love that purifies our hearts (CCC 2715). When we gaze at the Eucharist and allow Christ to gaze on us, our image becomes purified, less hazy, and we become fully known. The more I spend time in Adoration, the more deeply I feel seen by the Lord. And when the rest of life becomes indistinct and confusing, that gaze keeps me steadfast, and my heart pointed in the direction of Heaven, where all pretenses fall away, and only the truth will remain.

The truth is that one day we will know and be fully known, and we can start to live in that gaze of love right now. Next time you take a picture, make a post or bark orders at your family, stop and consider what kind of image you are making. Is it one of love that will last?