What Parishioners Need to Know About Their Priests: An Interview with Chrism Founder Matthew Rudolph

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Situated in the heart of Denver, Matthew Rudolph is on a mission to help priests discover their unique design, so they can live out a happy, healthy and holy priesthood.

It’s a personal mission for him, having experienced how hard it is to live the Christian life despite robust intellectual formation. Even though he had learned about Christian marriage in college, Rudolph and his wife struggled to live it out, and ended up in counseling their first year of marriage.

Around the same time, they noticed priest friends burning out and leaving the priesthood only a year or two after they were ordained.

While the seminary provides a great deal of intellectual and spiritual formation, Rudolph suggests that there can be a gap in its practical application to a priest’s life.

That’s why he founded the ministry, Chrism — a name based on the great priestly unity seen at the annual Chrism Mass, as priests renew their ordination promises.

“We feel called to integrate the various needs of a man so that he can be thriving on the inside to be living out a thriving priesthood on the outside. We’re looking at human formation and leadership, as that overlaps with mental health and healing, as that overlaps with spiritual health and renewal, looking at the whole man,” Rudolph said.

Often, priests find themselves feeling isolated, not having a lot of fraternity locally, or experiencing a lack of unity in the presbyterate.

“Recent studies have shown that 45% of priests have experienced burnout in their priesthood,” he explained. “60% of priests 45 and under have experienced burnout in their priesthood. … 50% of priests do not have a spiritual director. That has a huge ripple effect on the faithful, their priesthood and vocations.”

Chrism uses a model of cohorts, one-on-one coaching, retreats and workshops for priests, focusing on practical ways of allowing transformation in their lives. It also uses an interdisciplinary network of spiritual directors and mental health professionals deeply rooted in Christian anthropology (such as the John Paul II Healing Center) to make it practical.

“Healing is practical,” Rudolph stressed. “It can be spiritual, but we don’t really see the evidence of it if we don’t see transformation practically in our lives. Our work helps priests live in a healed place.

“Our simple process is self-knowledge, self-possession, self-gift,” he continued. “It’s not linear like that, but the more they come to know themselves and their unique design … there’s almost a rediscovery of who they are, who God made them to be — from their temperament to their working genius, to their strengths, their charisms — what makes them uniquely them.”

From that self-knowledge, priests are more capable of self-possession — or surrender — that allows God’s grace to work through them, ultimately leading to a gift of self which blesses their ministry.

Priests are Human, Too

If there’s one thing Rudolph wants parishioners to know about their priests, it’s that they are human, just like us.

“Yes, he’s a man in a collar,” he said. “He has been called and chosen and set apart for ministry — ordained for that ministry — but he’s still a man behind the collar. He’s a man with a unique personality and a unique story. Get to know who he is before you assume anything. We need to be in relationship with our priests. That means taking the time to get to know them just like you would anyone else.”

Known in the Particulars

To find out more about who your priest is in his own unique design, Rudolph suggested asking meaningful questions. Priests can feel anonymous in generalized gifts, compliments or questions, so instead, find out what your priest loves, or what makes him feel known and seen. Some questions you might ask are:

• What is your temperament?

• Are you introverted or extroverted?

• What energizes you?

• What’s your favorite food?

• What’s your favorite restaurant?

• What hobbies do you enjoy?

• What are some foods and activities that you don’t like?

Prayer for Priests

Another suggestion is to pray and fast for the priests in your life.

“I’ve seen God show up in huge ways in priests’ lives because people are praying and fasting for them,” Rudolph said. “One thing you could say is, ‘Hey Father, I’m praying and fasting for you on Friday. I wanted you to know that. Is there anything in particular that I could pray for you while I’m doing that?’ It gives him a chance to share whatever he might need that week. Or you could say, ‘I’m going to offer a Holy Hour for you, Father. Thank you for all you do for us. Could I pray for anything in particular as I lift you up in my holy hour?’  The particulars are what make the difference, instead of generalized prayer. What does he need prayer for? When are you going to pray for him? It goes from general to particular, to a very human thing that means a lot.”

Positive Feedback

Additionally, priests need to hear positive feedback from their parishioners.

“Priests get a lot of negative feedback,” Rudolph explained. “I think it is good to share constructive feedback with priests, but it is really, really important that we share good feedback as well.”

Examples of positive feedback could be what is going well, how the parish is serving your family, how you appreciate the Confession times, etc.

On Mission Together

Finally, the faithful need to accept that their priest has limitations. We shouldn’t expect priests to be able to do it all, as they have strengths and weaknesses like all of us. In fact, our priests need us to be on mission with them.

“Recognize the gifts of others — the body of Christ. He made us to need each other. We need different parts to work together for the body to function,” Rudolph said. “Priests need to be relieved of the stress that they need to be all things to everyone. The process of self-knowledge really allows him to know what he is good at — and what he is not good at — and know where to bring in the help that he needs. Without that, he burns out.”

Our priests are not — or should not — be on mission alone. As their co-laborers in the vineyard, we can encourage them on mission, in healing and in formation.

“A lot of priests might feel a little bit of shame in saying, ‘Hey, I could use some help,’ Rudolph admitted. “But there should be no shame involved. If you think about the best athletes, they have a ton of coaches and people around them thinking about nutrition, exercise and other skills. Don’t we want that for our priests? Don’t we want them thriving so they can help us thrive? Coaching is for priests who want to grow and be better.”

For more information on Chrism and its mission to serve priests, visit https://chrismpriest.com/.