The Texas Floods: How to Answer Your Children Who Are Asking Questions

A call to prayer from a 9-year old who just wanted to know the answer to one question: ‘Did the girls who died go straight to heaven? ...’

The USCG continues to assist the state of Texas with flooding near Kerrville. USCG MH-65 helicopters have conducted 12 flights to the flooded area, rescued 15 campers from Camp Mystic in Hunt, and aided in the evacuation of 230 people. (Photo: Public Domain/Wikimedia Commons)

By Debbie Cowden/National Catholic Register

Over the past couple years, my children have become more interested in exploring the outdoors through hiking and camping, and my husband and I have found ourselves stepping out of our comfort zones to afford them new experiences.

Three of our four children have already participated in camps and  scouting troops, and our eldest, who is 9 years old, has been looking forward to a weeklong overnight camp next summer.

You can imagine her devastation upon hearing the news of so many girls dying after being swept away by raging floodwaters while away at camp. 

I share in the devastation. She cried in my arms, and my heart broke when she told me the reasons she was upset: because the girls were her age, because they were probably scared and confused, because their families are going to miss them, and because she couldn’t imagine losing her own friends the same way. More than any other tragedy she’s witnessed, this one hit her hardest.

“Did the girls who died go straight to heaven?” she asked, with tears still rolling down her cheeks.

“They were at a Christian camp. They were Christians. Do you think they loved God very much?” I responded.

“Yes.”

“Do you think God wants them to be with him in heaven?”

“Yes!”

“We should pray for them now, that God will welcome each girl into eternal happiness with him.”

We prayed together, begging God to help the recovery teams find the missing girls, for consolation for the families and friends, and for the blessed repose of the girls’ souls and all those who died from the flood. 

Now, over the past couple of days, she has asked for updates: “Did they find any other girls yet?” “How many are still missing?”

As she processes the tragedy and the reality that more girls have been found, we’ve had a chance to discuss how she’s feeling, what she’s thinking about, and how her outlook on life has changed. Here are three things she said that provided her some solace, and I share here with our dear Register readers to offer some hope for all of us during this difficult time.

1. “That God is still good — bigger than all the bad in the world.” In her short lifetime, she’s experienced and witnessed many tragedies, including war, the reality of abortion, family friends dying of cancer, our neighbors losing everything in a house fire, tornadoes and hurricanes, and now this catastrophic flood. Somehow, she still recognizes the goodness of God and the power of his love and mercy, especially as she learns of the acts of heroism that saved more than 850 people. I pray for the grace to trust in God as much as she does.

2. “We have to keep praying, because prayer works.” Our kids have been offering their Rosaries, daily prayers and Holy Communion for the victims of the flood. My oldest in particular recognizes that, while donations and volunteering are important for recovery and relief efforts, the most important thing she can do as a 9-year-old hundreds of miles away is to pray. I encouraged her that the sorrow and grief she feels about the girls’ deaths is a reminder that we are all connected as members of the Body of Christ and that the pain and loss one person feels is felt by all, and we can and should be united in prayerful solidarity together.

3. “We can look forward to heaven one day.” One story that resonated with my daughter was that of Blair and Brooke Harber, two Catholic girls who were vacationing with their family and died in the flood. My daughter has two sisters of her own and recognizes the unshakable bond of sisterhood, as evidenced by the girls being found with their hands clasped and their rosaries with them. When I asked my daughter to recall what we ask of the Blessed Mother more than 50 times whenever we pray the Rosary, she knew: “Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death.” For all the times these girls prayed the Rosary, they were asking Mary to answer that prayer, and we hope she did! After all, Jesus told us in John 14:3 that he was going to prepare a place for us; our hope as Christians is that those who love Christ will be happy in heaven forever. Death and sorrow do not get the final word.

As I pray for the protection of my children, watching them get older, I still struggle to believe that I will be ready to answer the difficult questions they ask, especially during tragedies like this. I don’t want to scare them, but I also don’t want to dilute the reality of what’s happening. 

I’m finding the best we can do as parents is to pray for grace to give the best answer and to allow the moment to lead us toward God. In this case, my daughter is still shaken and grieving, but not despairing. She believes in the Resurrection and God’s love and recognizes that if God has allowed this to happen, he will bring good out of it. 

Please join my family in continuing to pray for the Texas flood victims.