Staying In is the New Going Out: How Catholics Can Engage in the Social Landscape

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Last year, I sat on my porch with my neighbor and proudly showcased a small rosebush. Once, it had been failing, but diligently following the rules of gardening brought it to life. One by one, I pointed out eleven new rose buds and casually stated, “If I had known how satisfying gardening was when I was in college, I would not have partied so much!”

I had no idea that my off-handed comment was so on trend. 

Since the pandemic, two major cultural shifts have emerged. They are different, but there is no denying they are related, and when explored together, they reveal a deep longing running through our society. 

The Death of the Party

The first trend is what many cultural critics call “the death of the party.”

Americans have embraced the party culture since the 1920s. The rise of jazz music, coupled with the excitement of city life and the lure of circumventing Prohibition, brought people from many different classes and backgrounds together to socialize around dancing and alcohol. For the next hundred years, society largely revolved around large public gatherings, whether cocktail parties in the 50s, discos in the 70s, or nightclubs from the 80s to the early 2000s.

But in 2020, the party abruptly stopped. COVID-19 killed the buzz as it thrust us out of the public and into our homes. Large gatherings were cancelled, weddings were postponed, and the social scene vanished. With the calendar cleared, some of us discovered a slower, more homebound pace of life, full of activities that seemed antiquated in our modern world. Surprisingly, many of us realized that we liked it!

The N95 masks have come off, and restrictions have lifted, but the social landscape has failed to bounce back to its former raucousness. Head over to your social media site of choice, and you will find it riddled with users showcasing their preference for a more nested life, claiming, “I’d rather stay home than party.” Post-pandemic America has voted, and at least for now, the loud, crowded party scene is a thing of the past.

The Rise of the Granny Hobby

A massive societal vibe shift is underway, and a slower pace is having its moment, marked by the rise of granny hobbies and a hunger for deep, thoughtful conversation.

I am far from alone when it comes to my newfound love for hobbies like gardening. Every week, I sit at my daughter’s dance class and watch two mothers chat as they knit in the waiting room. Our basement tenant frequently pulls out her sourdough starter and fills my home with the aroma of freshly-baked bread. My husband has spent hours perfecting the slow, methodical art of mixology as he listens to long-form podcasts or explores ideas for hours with friends over the slow burn of a cigar. Social media influencers such as Ballerina Farm’s Hannah Neeleman have achieved widespread recognition by glamorizing lifestyles rooted in handiwork and in-person relationships. 

Digging Into These Cultural Trends

On the one hand, these trends are good. In Genesis 2, God declared, “It is not good for man to be alone.” The need for connection with God and others is hardwired into our beings. Human history is full of celebration because community is part of our design. But sin disfigures everything it touches, and what was meant to foster connection became a breeding ground for substance abuse, sexual depravity and all kinds of rebellion. Like a rollercoaster that never stops, we couldn’t catch our breath and realize how exhausted and empty we were. In this sense, the pandemic was a mercy. It brought the roller coaster to a screeching halt, and with time to reflect, many of us decided we wanted out of a culture that was too fast-paced and destructive. Looking around our homes, we realized that things could be better and more wholesome. 

But this cultural trend also reveals some problems: we’ve forgotten how to live in community. Building joyful relationships requires social skills. It requires us to have self-confidence, engage in the art of small talk, and connect with people different from us. Five years post-COVID, many of us are out of practice with these things or are no longer willing to try. Why make awkward conversations with strangers when we can retreat to our online lives? Why would we engage in hard topics face-to-face when it’s easier not to? We got off the party rollercoaster. That was a good thing. Now, however, we risk replacing it with isolation in disguise. “Granny hobbies” are beautiful expressions of embodied living, but if they are always done alone in lieu of socializing, they can lead to the same aching loneliness that the party scene masks with noise. 

The Opportunity for Catholics

This is where Catholics have a unique opportunity to do what we’ve always done: answer the cry of the culture and redeem it through Christ. We can revive the art of celebration and social connection the way it was meant to be, with God at the center, upholding human dignity and honoring the slow-paced, embodied life that brings peace and satisfaction. 

Only a few weeks ago, the Catholic Church celebrated the greatest event in human history. Jesus Christ, the Son of God, entered into the human experience, lived, died and rose again. Saving us from the hopeless captivity of sin and death, he gave us the chance to live not in rebellion, but in relationship — with God and with one another. We can now share in God’s abundant life. We can experience all we were made for: true joy, community and holy celebration. If Catholics know anything, it should be how to celebrate. We must offer this sacred art to a world that has forgotten how. 

How do we do this? The way the saints did. St. John Paul II often said that we must not only reject the culture of death but build a culture of life — and invite others into it. Lucky are we who are surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses who offer us the example. 

Bl. Pier Giorgio Frassati brought his friends into the mountains, threw parties, pulled pranks and broke bread with friends. He celebrated embodied friendship with joyful abandon while sharing his faith.

St. Teresa of Calcutta saw a broken, dehumanized culture and created something new. She elevated the dignity of the poor and invited others to join her. She called others into that mission. Today, the Missionaries of Charity span the globe with 760 missionary homes because one woman created a culture of life and invited the world to step in.

Years ago, my husband lived with 11 other young men in an old convent in Philadelphia. Every Thursday, they hosted a gathering for Mass, music and dinner. The eclectic group of young adults came from all walks of life and backgrounds. Arborists, former monks, schoolteachers, nurses, engineers and construction workers prayed together and then socialized late into the night, laughing, arguing and sharing opinions. Their love for the Lord and each other made their house the social center of the neighborhood as they offered their peers the joy of celebration without the baggage of the broken culture.

Now it’s your turn.

Have you forgotten the art of celebration in your own life? How can you recover it? How can you invite others in? Will you do it, eating and drinking with others as our Lord did? Will you be the one to send the text and invite someone to go for coffee or go on a walk? Perhaps you have an extra pair of gardening gloves and can invite someone to join you. Or maybe you can use your gift for planning to bring people together in your neighborhood or parish.

Christianity is the best news in existence. It demands that we respond by engaging our communities with joy and vitality. Now, excuse me while I grab a glass of wine, gather some friends and toast the Resurrection.