Serving the Family, Serving the Church: The Dual Vocation of a Deacon

Abram with his wife and children. (Photo provided)

“Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up with the training and instruction of the Lord.” (Ephesians 6:4) 

Only God is the perfect Father; only Jesus Christ is the perfect Son, who learned to obey the will of his heavenly Father as well as his earthly father, St. Joseph. He, being God, embraced the humility of family life and grew under the guidance of his parents. The Holy Family of Nazareth has always been a guiding light for me — a model that inspires both my vocation as a father and my response to the call to the permanent diaconate. 

Being a father is a sacred gift that flows from the vocation to marriage. It is not a right, an accident or merely a personal desire. It is a grace from God and carries with it a profound responsibility. I thank God for calling me to be the father of seven children, each of whom I love deeply. Each child is a unique gift, a one-of-a-kind blessing. Although my love for each of them is the same, the way I love each is different, because each child has taught me something unique. They have been my true teachers in the art of fatherhood. 

No one is born knowing how to be a father; one becomes a father along the way — often through mistakes, failures, missed opportunities and tears. I am no exception. Like many, I made mistakes; I failed and allowed anger, impatience or exhaustion to take over. More than once, I provoked my children, let them down or upset them. Looking back with honesty and humility, I recognize that I often repeated patterns I had learned from my own father or simply acted out of immaturity. 

Each of my children had a different experience with me as their father because, through repeated mistakes, I slowly learned to do things better. God’s Word urges us not to provoke our children, but to raise them in the Spirit of the Lord. That is our mission — and our challenge. Educating, correcting, advising and serving our children is not someone else's job. It is our direct and non-transferable responsibility. For many years, without realizing it, I delegated this mission to my wife, schoolteachers and parish catechists. Today, I know that this was a serious omission. 

However, it is never too late to lovingly embrace the call that God has placed in our hands. In my case, a few years ago, by God’s grace and enlightened by his Word, I rediscovered my role as a father and began to live it more consciously and spiritually, more in line with the Heart of Christ. I’m not the best father in the world, and my children are not better than others, but I have seen fruit — fruits of reconciliation, deeper closeness, honest conversations and mutual respect. I’ve learned that only in the light of the Gospel and the teachings of the Church can we become true Christian fathers. 

This experience of fatherhood has been foundational in my response to the vocation to the permanent diaconate. The diaconate is not a title or distinction — it is a ministry of service. Just as a father is called to serve his children with love, sacrifice and dedication, so too is the deacon called to serve God’s people, especially the most vulnerable. The heart of a good father closely resembles the heart of a good deacon: both are called to love, correct, support, listen, console and guide. 

Today, I can say that my journey as a father has prepared me to be a better servant in the Church. I know that every family God places under my care as a deacon will be unique and invaluable, deserving to be heard, accompanied and served with tenderness, patience and respect. Each soul entrusted to me will not be a burden, but a sacred mission. And just like with my own children, my desire is to guide them “according to the Spirit of the Lord.” 

To my children, especially those who are already parents, I say from the bottom of my heart: be good fathers, better than I was. Learn from my mistakes, and don’t be afraid to start over each day.

To those who are not yet parents, I encourage you to ask God for wisdom and grace to become good fathers, if that is your calling. Look to St. Joseph, listen to the Word of God, and faithfully follow the teachings of the Church. 

To all fathers reading this reflection, I say: it is never too late to become a better father. Let us learn from our mistakes, ask our children for forgiveness if we’ve hurt them and keep moving forward with hope. God can heal, restore and renew our vocation as fathers if we allow him to enter our hearts. 

Today, I pray for every father who struggles, loves and perseveres. I pray for you, who sometimes feel inadequate, burdened by guilt or unsure where to begin. Stay strong! God walks with you. May this Father’s Day be an opportunity to renew our commitment, vocation and faith. 

Happy Father's Day!