Pastors: Homeschoolers are Parishioners, Too

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When people find out that I homeschool my five children, they usually say something like, “Wow! You must be really busy.” And while it’s true that yes, we are busy, I think we are less busy than if all of them were in traditional schools.

In fact, the primary reason we chose to homeschool in the first place was to set the pace of our lives.

When I was fresh out of college, I worked in a Denver parish with a school attached. I figured that someday I’d get married at the parish and my kids would attend school there. While I did get married at that parish, we later moved to a different part of town. And when it came time to think about school for my oldest, I already had two more kids and was staying at home to care for them.

Money was tight, and I could have either gotten a job to pay for tuition and put the other two babies in daycare, or I could have homeschooled and continued to stay home with them. I knew some other families who homeschooled, and it seemed like the natural choice to live the family life I knew I wanted. We could continue to go on playdates and field trips and learn to read and count between naps for the youngest, instead of conforming to the school schedule.

I saw it as a way to escape the merry-go-round of modern life. Once you set your life to the routine of school bells, homework, packing lunches and class parties, you live at the mercy of the school schedule. The best parts of your child’s day are spent away from you, while you get the tired kid and the homework load at the end of the day.

Homeschoolers, on the other hand, take sick days and don’t worry about what they’re missing or if they can catch up. They get individualized help and spend time on the subjects that are important to them. They learn at their own pace, so they don’t worry about being bored or falling behind. And when the work is done, they learn a creative kind of boredom in which they have agency over their free time to pursue their own interests. Learning is often hands-on, integrated and covers a variety of ages.

And yet, most homeschool days do not live up to the ideal. Our homes are often messy, we go through more food and dishes, and moms can easily become overburdened and overstimulated. Moms are teachers for a variety of subjects and ages, as well as social coordinators and caretakers. We must be resourceful in finding the right communities, educational resources and extracurricular activities.

Homeschooling is not for everyone — the family structure may not support it, or some people just flourish better with the structure of the classroom and the expertise of the teachers. I have good friends who attend Catholic schools and are very happy there, and I am happy for them. I encourage them! And who knows, we might be one of those families one day whose circumstances change, and we will want a good Catholic school to go to.

Still, for the last nine years, homeschooling has been a great fit for us. My kids have good friends; they do not struggle with anxiety. They play well together, and even with a slower schedule, they are learning just as much as their peers in school.

That is why I am grateful that homeschooling is one option among many, and I hope that pastors see it the same way. Parishes have a mission to help families pass on the faith.  And if parents are the primary educators of their children, then families of all types of education should be welcomed and encouraged at the parish.

While homeschooling is on the rise, statistics suggest that only about 5% of families do so. There are still many students who can benefit from Catholic schools. And with the difficulties surrounding public schools, Catholic schools can set a tone with a renewed vision for education.  I know many Catholic educators who are thinking deeply about paideia (holistic education in virtue, encompassing mind, body and spirit): what it means to be human and how education should foster the human flourishing of the whole person.

In fact, Pope Leo is thinking about it, too. In his recent apostolic letter Drawing New Maps of Hope, he writes that education “forms the very fabric of evangelization” (1.1) and that we must refocus our gaze on the “cosmology of Christian paideia” (1.2). In true Catholic education, the person of Christ becomes the hermeneutical key for what is good, true and beautiful. The Catholic faith imbues education with a logical consistency and urgency to form hearts and minds to know and love God.

A priest recently asked me what it would take for homeschool families to consider a Catholic school. Cost is obviously a factor, but more than that, it would require an overhaul of the system to resemble less John Dewey’s system of bells and test-taking, and more like learning for the sake of the good, the true, and the beautiful. Education is not something you do just to regurgitate information, ace a test and get a good job. Education is for human flourishing and the gift of eternal life.

This integrated vision was communicated well at the open house I attended at John Paul the Great High School, and I was very moved by their passionate commitment to education as part of human and spiritual formation, with the goal of making saints. That is a vision I can get on board with for the older grades.

But in the younger years? I want my children to experience less social strife and educational stress. I want to create meaningful relationships and leave a lasting gift of wonder.

In a talk I gave at the local Homeschool Conference two years ago, I argued that human flourishing in education should be more like a garden and less like a factory. Human beings are created by God as different and complementary. Instead of a factory where you plug information into the students, output it on a test and advance to the next grade, our Catholic families, parishes and institutions should be ready to consider education more like gardening — tending the soil here, a little more sunlight there, recognizing that the variety in personality and aptitude is what makes for a beautiful garden.

I may have idealistic visions of parish life, but if the parish exists to support its parishioners, well then, homeschoolers are parishioners, too. Catholic education is for all, no matter where the student’s desk lies.

I believe that the parish should be the center of worship and formation for all its parish families. When the parish is flourishing with reverent worship, numerous opportunities for building community, ongoing formation and growth in a life of prayer, that impacts all families. Homeschool and traditional school families can be joint participants in parish life, supporting and encouraging one another.

If pastors can expand their vision of education, there are also ways that parishes could offer options to homeschoolers. Catholic homeschoolers have already formed many regional co-ops and are often seeking spaces to host them. What are some offerings the parishes could provide that homeschoolers would be willing to pay for, lead or organize? Is there room to consider micro-campuses and hybrid schooling as part of the model for reaching Catholic families? These questions need to be explored.

In the end, parishes are the heart of the Church where people and families come together to worship, “where the Gospel is proclaimed and celebrated, where believers are formed and sent to renew the earth.” Forming our children is of utmost importance, so I hope our parishes can find ways for more collaboration across all our modes of schooling that place Jesus in the center of it all.