'Holding on in the Storm': A Christian Physician on Dying, Dignity and Hope

Dr. Bob Cutillo's new book, "Holding on in the Storm," aims to help Christians face death and suffering without fear, drawing from biblical, medical and personal wisdom gleaned over decades of medical practice, and in his accompaniment of his wife, Heather, as she prepared for death. (Photo courtesy of Dr. Bob Cutillo)

By Caitlin Burm

Many of us have faced the loss of a loved one and know how disorienting death can feel. Even with the hope of eternal life, grief can still overwhelm us and leave us searching for clarity, healing and meaning.

Following End-of-Life Month, during which the archdiocese reflected on the twilight of life, local Christian physician Bob Cutillo, MD, offers a rare perspective shaped by deep biblical reflection, decades of medical practice and his own family experience.

“Being aware of when it is time to let go requires a mature wisdom gained through years of trusting God,” Dr. Cutillo said.

His new book, “Holding on in the Storm,” aims to help Christians face death and suffering without fear, and discover how God’s presence sustains us when life feels most fragile.

Learning to Hold on in the Storm

“Holding on in the Storm” draws not only from medical training and Scripture, but from the experience of caring for his wife, Heather, through terminal cancer. From that place of profound love and loss, he hopes readers will find support through their own journeys and rediscover how faith steadies us in times of suffering.

That blend of faith and medicine is central to Dr. Cutillo’s beliefs, shaped by both the Church’s early thinkers and his own lived experience. Quoting St. Basil, the founder of the first hospital, he said, “Consequently, we must take great care to employ the medical art, if it should be necessary, not as making it wholly accountable for our state of health or illness, but as redounding to the glory of God.”

This wisdom became deeply personal for the Cutillos during Heather’s three years of cancer treatment.

“We were blessed by good doctors and nurses and quality medical care. But we sought to never place our hope there. Our hope remained tethered to God, and often God healed through the good of medicine,” Dr. Cutillo shared. “Yet we knew the art of medicine would one day fail us — but he never fails or forsakes us, as it says in Deuteronomy 31:6, repeated in Hebrews 13:5. We believed Heather’s full healing would come on the other side, when she crossed over to be with God.”

Dr. Cutillo shared that his inspiration for writing “Holding on in the Storm” was Heather herself, and how she lived her final years with a steadfast faith and trust in the Lord.

“In the book, I sought to carefully follow the ups and downs of the journey, the numerous trials that greatly tested our faith, and the steadfast faithfulness and love of God that helped us to hold on in the storm,” he explained.

This journey has led him to reflect on how Christians can face death with dignity, grieve with honesty and prepare our hearts for the hope that awaits us.

Facing Death With Dignity

Dr. Cutillo believes many end-of-life challenges today come from our society’s inability to confront death honestly.

“Our society sees death as a failure,” he explained, which leads to fear and denial, instead of approaching end-of-life care and death with hope.

At the heart of end-of-life care, Dr. Cutillo added, is the conviction that every person is made in the image of God and deserves to be loved to the very end.

“One of the greatest fears of dying is not death, but dying alone,” he said.

His own promise to his wife, that she would never be alone on her final journey, shaped his understanding of dignity at the end of life. For individuals or families feeling overwhelmed, he offers simple but profound guidance:

1. Speak honestly about death rather than avoiding it.

2. Share fears with trusted loved ones or pastors.

3. Place hope in Christ’s promise of eternal life.

4. Stay faithfully present with one another until God calls a loved one home.

Dr. Cutillo also emphasized that grief has no timetable.

“Loss is universal, but healthy grieving is not,” he said, calling on Christians to receive mourners with tenderness.

A Hope That Carries Us Home

Grief is a winding path, Dr. Cutillo noted, one that cannot be rushed or simplified. As he reflects on Heather’s life and the years they shared in the shadow of her illness, Dr. Cutillo hopes that his book will help others hold onto God even when the future feels uncertain. For him, the Christian vision of death does not erase grief but transforms it.

“Our Christian hope is rooted in what God has done for us in the salvific work of Jesus on the Cross,” he said. “This hope has been a great comfort to me in my loss, and I believe it can be so for many other Christians when they and their loved ones arrive at the time of death.”

Ultimately, “Holding on in the Storm” is an invitation to face death honestly, to love one another faithfully, and to cling to the God who walks with us each day. It is a reminder that while death is a profound part of our earthly story, it is not the end of it. In him, our losses are met with compassion, our suffering is never endured alone, and our hope stretches beyond the grave.