Gratitude and Love: What the Catholic Church Teaches About the End of Life
- Guest Contributor
- 4 hours ago
- 5 min read
Catholic teaching reminds us that human dignity endures until our final breath, and that preparing for death — either ours or that of a parent or loved one — is an act of both gratitude and love.
By Father Scott Bailey
I recently anointed a man who was dying by himself in a nursing home. He was unresponsive, but I think he knew that I was there. His wife of 50+ years is homebound and could not be with him, so she asked if I would use the speaker on my phone so that she could listen to me anoint her husband. After anointing him, I laid my phone on the pillow next to his head to let her say goodbye to him. It was very emotional for me to listen to her pour out her heart and say goodbye one last time. Everything she wanted to say basically came down to two things: “thank you” and “I love you.”
Since that anointing, I have been reflecting on the relationship between “thank you” and “I love you.” It seems to me that those two things — gratitude and love — are deeply connected. Gratitude is a foundational expression of love for another person. And can we really love someone without some level of gratitude for their existence? Of course not! “Thank you” and “I love you” go hand-in-hand. There is no better way of saying goodbye to a loved one preparing for death than to show them gratitude and love.
Catholic Teaching on the End-of-Life
We begin the month of November by celebrating those who are already in Heaven (All Saints Day) and praying for those in Purgatory (All Souls Day). So, November is a fitting opportunity to reflect on death and dying — not in a morbid sort of way, but to help us prepare for a holy death. So, let us examine three aspects of what the Church teaches about dying well.
1: Human dignity does not diminish with age.
Each human person is uniquely created by God and made in his image and likeness. This means that each of us possesses an inherent dignity which cannot be earned or taken away. You intrinsically have value by the mere fact that you exist! It is good that you are here, and your life is a sacred gift! This is true for every human person regardless of age, physical capabilities, mental state or ability to “contribute” in society.
We then build on this foundation as we look at end-of-life questions. The dignity of the human person cannot be violated, and this influences every decision we make in providing care for a person at the end of their life. It also means that we defend the right to life and the right to a natural death.
I have discovered that many people in their later years struggle with a sense of purpose. They begin to ask the questions, “Why am I still here?” or “What more does God want me to do?” Beneath those questions, there is often a subtle lie: the belief that life is only worth living when we are productive or able-bodied. But the truth is that our human dignity does not diminish with age or poor health. God has made us in his likeness, and our life in this world is a gift to us and to others.
2: There are moral limits to medical interventions.
Medical treatments are often proposed when a person’s health declines, because of disease or old age. It is not possible for me to spell out the moral aspects of all the various medical treatments available, but the Church establishes some basic principles:
Nutrition is a basic need. Giving a person water and food, even when provided by artificial means, is a normal part of treating someone with dignity. It is morally obligatory to provide nutrition insofar as it is beneficial to the patient and alleviates suffering (see Ethical & Religious Directives #58).
It can be morally acceptable to stop extraordinary medical treatments so long as one does not intend to cause death. The Catechism says, “Discontinuing medical procedures that are burdensome, dangerous, extraordinary or disproportionate to the expected outcome can be legitimate; it is the refusal of ‘over-zealous’ treatment. Here, one does not will to cause death; one's inability to impede it is merely accepted.” (Catechism of the Catholic Church, 2278)
In some cases, it is okay not to pursue medical treatment at all. If treatment can only provide a doubtful chance of improvement or a painful prolongation of life, then it is acceptable to forgo treatment altogether, so long as it is without the intention to cause death (see Samaritanus Bonus 54-56 and Ethical & Religious Directives #56-57).
When it comes to considering medical treatments, we must always have in mind the promotion of life and never the pursuit of death. Eventually, things reach a point at which medical treatment would no longer provide any benefit. It is then that we focus on palliative care and pray for the grace to accept death in God’s time.
3: The Church wants to accompany the dying.
The Church walks side-by-side with those who are dying by providing the sacraments and through the love of the faithful.
Christ instituted the sacraments as a way of being with us and giving us the graces we need. He especially wants to give the sacraments to those who are preparing for death. Do not wait until the final hour to call the priest! Please! Very often, priests get called to visit when the person is very close to death, and tragically, the priest does not always get there in time. We want the dying person to receive the sacrament of the Anointing of the Sick and the Apostolic Blessing (a plenary indulgence) as soon as they begin hospice care. If the person can be anointed while they are still conscious, they may also be able to receive Reconciliation and Holy Communion one last time.
As Christians, we are called to personally accompany those who are preparing for death. We do this through our prayers and our presence. Pope Benedict XVI said: “No believer should die in loneliness and neglect,” but should “experience the Father's warmth in the embrace of sisters and brothers” (2008 Address to the Participants in the Congress Organized by the Pontifical Academy for Life). When a loved one is preparing for death, we may need to offer words of encouragement and reminders that, when we die “in the Lord,” we look forward to eternal life with God. In our own sorrow, we need to remember that the bonds of love that have knit us together throughout this life do not unravel with death, and we look forward to the day when we will all be together again in God’s kingdom.
Gratitude and Love
You could say that everything the Church has to say about death and dying is rooted in showing gratitude to God for the gift of this life, and love for the human person who was made in God’s image and likeness. The Church’s teaching on these issues reminds us that the end of life is just as sacred as the beginning of life.
Thinking about our mortality can be a very sobering experience. Death puts into perspective both the shortness of this life and the eternity that lies beyond our final breath. But thinking about our death is not supposed to scare us! It is supposed to stir up within us a deeper gratitude for the time God has given us here, and a deeper desire for eternity with him.
As we reflect on the gift of this life and prepare for the moment when we will come before God face-to-face, let us foster a spirit of gratitude and love. Through a heartfelt “thank you” and “I love you”, we will be ready for his eternal embrace.
