Finding Hope and Peace Amid Political Division
By Dr. Michelle Connor Harris
Executive Director
St. Raphael Counseling
Last night I was talking with my 23-year-old son about this article on “hope and peace amid political burnout.” His response was, “If you want to talk about hope and peace, look at Zohran Mamdani.”
I sighed internally and tried, probably unsuccessfully, to control my tendency to roll my eyes at the mention of the mayor of New York. Not because of the mayor or his policies, but more because of the way these discussions go with my son. I was thinking to myself, “Hope and peace can only come from Jesus,” but I didn’t say this out loud.
In our discussions, I believe my son sometimes puts too much stock in political and governmental solutions to human problems, and I often want to instruct him in the wisdom of Catholic Social Teaching. While we don’t argue or get heated, I’m usually left feeling that we’re far apart in our political beliefs and priorities.
But I also have to remind myself that behind my son’s political beliefs is a genuine concern for the well-being of others, which I love about him. At 23, he is still developing his own political thinking, just as I was at his age. My own thoughts and opinions have evolved, and I need to extend him the same courtesy to wrestle with these questions and reach his own conclusions, still rooted in a love for neighbor.
Since I had been mulling over ways other people could enter into political discussions, create connection and foster love for this article, I decided to give it a try myself.
I set the intention to simply ask his opinion so that I could understand his point of view.
“Why do you think that Mamdani is bringing hope and peace to his city?” I asked.
And then I listened. He talked about the larger issues of tax reform, serving constituents and addressing people’s needs. I didn’t try to instruct. I didn’t make any points of my own. I just followed up with clarifying questions.
Afterward, I felt much lighter. I came to understand my son better and could appreciate that, beneath his political ideas, he cared about people and wanted the best for society.
Often, beneath our very different political conclusions, we can discover concerns we share: the well-being of our families and the desire to live, work and prosper in a society where we are both safe and free. How we seek to get there is where we differ, but that shouldn’t be where we stay. We should return to our common goals, our common humanity and our love for each other.
The typical advice for avoiding political burnout is to reduce your news intake, avoid conversations about heated topics and agree to disagree. These are all sound suggestions.
But what if we approach this next election cycle differently? Can we use the impending elections as an opportunity to get closer to our families?
I believe the answer is yes, but it will take an act of the will and sacrifice on our parts.
• Set aside the need to teach, preach or change the other person’s mind. Really, this is harder than it sounds. Can you truly let go of needing to change that person’s mind?
• Enter the discussion with the intention of understanding the other person’s point of view. You are not planning to share your own views unless asked.
• Ask questions without judgment or sarcasm and check your tone. This is where I can easily create defensiveness in the other person by having a judgmental tone.
• If you need fallback questions, consider the who, what, when, where, why and how of local newspaper reporters. Questions like “Why do you think that’s the best solution to the given problem?” and “How would that change things if that program were implemented?” help us understand details rather than give opinions.
• Can you see that person’s point of view? If so, say that. “Okay, I see what you’re saying,” or “I can understand why you believe that.” Acknowledging that you understand someone’s reasoning does not mean that you agree with it, nor does every moment of understanding require an immediate rebuttal. Sometimes simply acknowledging the other person’s point communicates understanding and respect.
Politics is very personal, and people can become emotionally attached to their party, candidate or political beliefs. When that happens, it can be difficult to listen openly when those beliefs are challenged. It takes effort to resist allowing our emotions to rule our political discussions. Remember all the team rivalries with the recent World Cup? People rooting for different teams sat in the same stadium or bar or on the same couch. Most fans started and ended those matches as family, friends or respected opponents. The love of the sport brought them together. Politics can be like that, only we make it a lot less fun. Vilifying our family, friends and fellow citizens because they think or vote differently is not Christian. What if, during the upcoming elections, we let other people root for their own team and respect their ability to make up their own minds? What if we focus on conducting ourselves in ways that reflect our Christian values and stop criticizing and disparaging people who think or vote differently?
God gave each of us freedom, and he desires that we use that freedom to choose what is good, true and beautiful. Respecting the freedom of others does not mean believing every choice is equally good or true, nor does understanding another person require us to abandon our own convictions.
It does mean remembering that the dignity of the human person must be upheld at all times. We can disagree, sometimes profoundly, while still giving our family, friends, neighbors and strangers from across the aisle the respect they deserve as fellow human beings created and loved by God.
And if we’re going to accomplish this, we must pray. The Prayer of St. Francis offers us a fitting place to begin:
Lord, make me an instrument of your peace: where there is hatred, let me sow love; where there is injury, pardon; where there is doubt, faith; where there is despair, hope; where there is darkness, light; where there is sadness, joy. O divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console, to be understood as to understand, to be loved as to love. For it is in giving that we receive, it is in pardoning that we are pardoned, and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
