Christmas Joy is Found in the Moment

When plans fell apart, peace entered in, and the season of joy became real for the first time.

(Photo: Adobe Stock)

By Forest Barnette

I expected last Christmas to be really hard.

It was the first time my husband, kids and I didn’t travel to see extended family. The estrangement that caused these circumstances was painful enough on its own, not to mention the FOMO (Fear of Missing Out), the traditions lost and the grieving for what I’d imagined holidays with kids, cousins and chaos would look like.

And yet, Christmas 2024 turned out to be the most peaceful, joy-filled, fun and rejuvenating of any I can remember.

Christmas Presence

It’s the classic tale: God allows poverty to bring forth riches. Stripped of many of the things I thought were essential to a “real” Christmas, all I really could focus on were the ways we were connecting as a family and how those things were laying a foundation of faith and security for our 2- and 3-year-olds. What “should” constitute the idyllic childhood holiday became quite beside the point.

A large (and growing) body of metadata across multiple scientific disciplines attests to the power of “mindfulness” or, more plainly, attention and openness to the present moment. I wasn’t necessarily trying to be extra mindful in the winter of 2024; we simply had less rushing, planning, prepping and people-pleasing to do than before. And toddlers are so darn cute — especially during the holidays! Putting down my phone and really watching their expressions as they mixed cookie dough was a reward in itself. Marveling together at the huge, fluffy flakes as they gathered in the grass felt like waking up with a clear mind for the first time in years.

What happened that week between Christmas and New Year’s as I gradually became accustomed to looking up and out at my sweet young family, rather than bracing myself for the tension and dysfunction I so recently believed was a normal part of family gatherings?

I found that things around me were free, easy, wholesome and rich. I found that I was living the life my younger self had only dreamed about. I discovered that God had been good — really good. There were two sets of big, blue eyes looking at me as they widened in wonder at our glittering tree. Two sets of plump, rosy cheeks to keep warm as we tumbled in delight through a snowy backyard. A husband with a goofy laugh whose strong arms I’m lucky to call home.

Every moment I looked around me and truly soaked in the circumstances in which God placed me, I was even more amazed, more at peace, more energized and more joyful. I found myself wanting to share those exhausting toddler dance parties with my daughter as we played Jingle Bell Rock for the 15th time that day. I was able to pour further attention and love into my family, and I experienced tenfold joy in return.

Joy, A Fruit of the Spirit

Joy is a fruit of the Spirit, a pervading contentment that comes from deeply loving and trusting God, which allows us to live engaged in the present. Christmas joy is even more elevated because we relive a particular, ever-present moment: the God of Galaxies has seen our brokenness, stepped into time, shattered the downward spiral of history and rescued us! Deep Christmas joy is watching in wonder and awe as this reality reverberates every day before our very eyes.

So, you want deep joy this holiday season? Stop and look.

Marvel at the way snow sparkles in the morning sun- light. Billions of completely individual flakes of ice are nothing to the God who blanketed the world with tiny crystals just to dazzle you.

Look into your son’s face, not just at it, though he may not always engage you this earnestly. What do you see? What’s really behind his words, his complaints, his requests? What generous act of God put this blossoming soul in your care to be nurtured and guarded by you? How incredible the way he’s matured from a helpless bundled baby into a fledgling protector all his own!

Really look at that gorgeous tree, how the soft lights radiate in the darkness and the shadows play on the walls.

Listen to your daughter’s voice. What a fascinating mind is shown by her young words! What a heart, both tender and brave, which seeks only to know and be known. What a blessing is that melodious cadence of her thoughts, which helps shape and enhance your home before it goes on to inspire the world!

Feel that tiny mitten in your hand as you circle the ice rink with your toddler. Bask in the cool air brushing your cheeks.

Breathe deeply of the incense at Mass and allow yourself to stop singing for a moment as you give your full attention to the atmosphere of the Christmas vigil. Let your shoulders relax. Even the rowdiest toddlers don’t bother the Prince of Peace. This is the communion for which you and your family were made. This is where Heaven kisses earth. Release your subconscious planning and worrying. Let your children see their parent surrender to our infant Lord.

Share a moment with your spouse over a hot chocolate, whether the kids have made it to bed or not. Make his voice or her eyes your whole world for these next precious minutes.

Then, after all this, let that swelling joy overflow to others. Let that extravagant, grace-filled attention inspire a different way of engaging the holidays: truly listening to the stranger at the Christmas party, joining your children in squeals of delight as Santa passes by in the parade, inviting a friend to enjoy an extra cookie together and really reveling in the flavor and warmth.

And when people ask what’s different, why you seem lighter, more present, more content, delightedly share the reason for the hope within you: Jesus Christ.