Bringing the Resurrection to Those Who Suffer

Thoughts and tips on how to preach the Gospel of hope even amid difficult times

(Photo: Lightstock)

By Hilary Draftz

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“I stopped going to church when my mother died.”

"I wish I had the faith you have, but I just don’t see how a good God could allow so much evil in the world.”

“At this point, I’ve gone too far to change my life. God couldn’t forgive me for what I’ve done.”

These statements come from real interactions I have had with a variety of friends, family and acquaintances over many years. And I imagine they mirror comments you’ve heard from people in your life. Every human being who has lived on this planet has experienced suffering, observed evil in the world and felt stunned or ashamed by the ugliness of it all.

How can evil exist if there is an all-loving and all-powerful God in charge of it all?

While we can’t answer that question comprehensively in an article of this length, since you’re a living, breathing Christian, I am confident that you’ve wrestled with that challenge yourself. And it’s precisely the wrestling that matters. Your family and friends who are searching for God amid suffering don’t expect you to know everything. They need to know that you can relate. They need to know that you care.

Pope St. Paul VI told us that “modern man listens more willingly to witnesses than to teachers” (Evangelii nuntiandi 41). For most of us without formal theological training, this is great news! The human heart is transformed by an encounter with love more than by catechetical answers or theological nuance.

Don’t get me wrong — it is worthwhile for us to study the teaching of our faith on the topic of suffering. These insights can help prepare us for evangelical conversations, deepen our own spiritual life and keep our relationship with Christ from remaining at the surface level. Some great resources to ponder include:

• 1 Peter 4

• Catechism of the Catholic Church 272-278, 309-314 (especially 312)

• Searching for and Maintaining Peace by Father Jacques Philippe

• Michelle Duppong: Hope in the Depths of Suffering, recently published by Sophia Institute Press

But, at the end of the day, you are far more than a catalogue of faithful resources. Your friend came to you with their struggle because you can provide what no Internet search can: a human heart, a listening ear. Be confident in who you are and how the Holy Spirit has prepared you for this encounter with your friend.

Staying Present

Sometimes people struggle with the idea of evil in theory. But often, it’s personal. The first-hand experience of having been deeply hurt by another’s sin is difficult for a searching soul to overcome. Why would God allow this to happen to me? Likewise, many people feel abandoned over their sins. Where was God when I made that choice? Why didn’t he stop me?

The key for us as friends and witnesses is not to have answers to all these questions. The key is to remain present. When someone discloses a deeply held experience to you, does your face appear shocked? Do you express scandal or fear of the possible intensity of the conversation? People will find you easiest to talk to about difficult things if your demeanor remains calm and receptive. Simple statements that show you’re listening and understanding can be helpful: “Oh, John. I’m so sorry you went through that.” “Thank you for sharing that with me.” “That is so hard. You’re not crazy for asking these tough questions.”

Imagine you are a priest in the confessional. Father sits there, sometimes for hours, never knowing what the next person will say. But he can remain open and peaceful no matter what he hears because he knows that the power and mercy of God is bigger than any sin. You can have that confidence, too. No matter what sorrowful thing someone shares with you as they describe their faith journey, you can remain present to them in a posture of listening, seeing the person beyond the labels.

Steadfast Hope

When a newborn baby experiences pain, cold or hunger, Attachment Theory tells us that the soothing touch and sound of an attuned caregiver teach their nascent nervous system how to self-regulate. Babies borrow calm from their parents. Can our friends similarly borrow hope from us?

Is your trust in God’s Providence solid enough for your friend to lean on? St. Peter tells us, “But in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and reverence” (1 Peter 3:15).

Every part of this statement is essential to the evangelization of disillusioned modern people. Before we can skip to the part where we explain our hope with gentleness and reverence (please don’t make a defensive-sounding “defense”), we have to honor Christ as Lord. He is not just Lord of my heart, in some relativistic sense — He is Lord of all! If Jesus isn’t Lord of all people, of all events, of the entire Universe, then why would we place our hope in him? If we want to be strong enough to support others, we need to nurture this faith, hope and love in our own daily prayer and participation in the sacraments.

From there, we can model Joseph’s faith in the Old Testament. When sold into slavery by his brothers, Joseph rose to power in Egypt through steadfast faithfulness to God (see Genesis 37-50). When he later meets his brothers, rather than accuse them of the harm they had truly done to him, he makes sense of the twists and turns of his life in a breathtakingly profound and hope-filled summary: “You meant evil against me, but God meant it for good” (Gen 50:20).

Jesus, Our Example

God ultimately demonstrated the truth of Joseph’s statement in the Crucifixion of Jesus. No greater evil can be imagined than the torture and murder of the divine Son of God. And yet, out of that deep darkness perpetuated by the corrupted human heart, the power of God’s goodness overcame even death.

The Resurrection of Jesus gives us insight into how God’s Providence works in our lives, too: an ultimate good outcome doesn’t diminish the real ugliness of sin and suffering; rather, it validates and vindicates it. Your suffering really hurts? So did Jesus’s suffering. Someone truly intended evil for you when they abused and harmed you? Jesus really experienced the same thing. And even with all that mountain of mess, God’s good plan for the world’s salvation was still more powerful.

My husband and I adopted our kids when they were partially grown, old enough to remember some of the difficulties they suffered in their first home. When those memories are causing distress or the pain of loss is heavy, we go together to one of the many crucifixes in our home. I like to ask them, “Why do we hang a crucifix on the wall?” They usually give the very good and true answer, “To remind us that Jesus loves us.” Yes. But the crucifix also shows us that whatever messy or painful thing we’re going through, he understands. He knows the hurting human heart and heals it by remaining present with us. He will never leave you alone, and, as his witness, neither will I.