Still Family: Deacon Memorial Mass Unites Generations in Prayer and Hope
When their grandmother’s name was spoken during the Deacon Memorial Mass, three grandsons turned toward their deacon-grandfather and smiled.
For Deacon Robert Hoffman of Christ on the Mountain Parish in Lakewood, that simple exchange with Greyson, Arthur and Anthony captured something profound: grief held within faith, remembrance sustained by prayer, and a family surrounded by the love of the Church.
On a beautiful, sunlit autumn day, October 2, Denver Archbishop James Golka joined deacons, widows, deacon widowers and families at Mount Olivet Catholic Cemetery in Wheat Ridge for the annual Deacon Memorial Mass. Celebrated at the Gallagher Chapel on the Memorial of the Holy Guardian Angels, the gathering offered a poignant reminder of God’s loving care for his people, both seen and unseen.
Those gathered brought names, memories and the enduring love of those whose lives had helped shape the diaconal community.
“It is a great honor to be here with you to offer this Mass on behalf of your family members,” Archbishop Golka said.
Reflecting on his first six months in the archdiocese, he expressed gratitude for the years of ministry represented by the husbands and fathers being remembered, and by the deacons gathered before him.
“Deacons are humble servants. They tell us about Christ the Servant,” he said, reaching beyond a description of ministry to its spiritual foundation. “Unless you have a heart of a servant, you can never minister in the person of Jesus Christ.”
Archbishop Golka also pointed to the companionship of Heaven, invoking the examples of St. Thérèse of Lisieux and St. Joan of Arc. He invited those gathered to seek their intercession for deacons, their families, widows and the entire Archdiocese of Denver. On a day dedicated to the Holy Guardian Angels, his invitation reminded the faithful that we bring our grief and our prayers into a communion larger than those we can see gathered around us.
Archdiocesan priests and deacons smile for a group photo with Archbishop Golka.
Photos by Jen Majewski, courtesy of the Archdiocesan Office of the Diaconate
The servant’s heart that the archbishop described takes shape in countless encounters: proclaiming the Gospel, visiting the sick, accompanying the grieving and offering a faithful presence when words are difficult to find. Within marriages and families, that service is sustained through sacrifices often unseen by the wider Church.
The Memorial Mass brought those lives and sacrifices into the community’s prayer, remembering deceased wives alongside deceased deacons and embracing those who continue to mourn them.
Before Mass, Deacon Hoffman and his grandsons visited the grave of his wife, Bonnie Hoffman, adjacent to Gallagher Chapel.
“We prayed for Grandma’s soul and asked that she intercede for us,” he recalled.
Then, during the liturgy, the boys heard her name.
“When their grandma’s name was mentioned along with the deacons and deacons’ wives who had died during the past year, my grandsons all looked at me and smiled,” he said.
For their grandfather, witnessing the community pray for Bonnie was a beautiful grace and a powerful testimony to the Catholic faith: love continues beyond death, and prayer remains an expression of that love.
Mary Grimm, widow of Deacon Paul Grimm, also appreciated the remembrance of deacons’ wives.
“I was glad to see the wives of deacons remembered as well as the deacons,” she said. “As always, it is such a good reminder of the camaraderie among the deacons when a large number attend the Mass.”
She welcomed Archbishop Golka’s presence and the opportunity for conversation at the outdoor reception afterward. Those conversations extended the day’s prayer into personal encounters, renewing friendships and making room for shared memories.
For Sherryl Gollhofer, widow of Deacon Jim Gollhofer, the gathering affirmed an enduring belonging.
“The Mass was lovely, such a blessing to me and my family,” she said. “The feeling of community and togetherness was evidence that, even after death, deacons’ families are still family in the Church.”
She particularly appreciated the acknowledgment of families present, including deacons mourning the deaths of their wives.
Deacon Kevin Leiner of All Souls Parish in Englewood experienced an unexpected connection when he recognized familiar faces from daily Mass.
“I was surprised to discover they were the family of a dearly departed deacon and his wife,” he said. “It’s amazing how God connects us all together, even when we don’t realize it.”
These connections reveal why this annual gathering matters. A name spoken aloud tells a family that their loved one is remembered. A brother deacon’s presence communicates that years of service have not been forgotten. A conversation after Mass reminds someone grieving that there is still a place for them within this community.
As Director of Deacons, I hold this conviction close: Our responsibility to a deacon’s family does not end at the cemetery. His widow remains our sister; his children remain part of our family. And a brother deacon mourning his wife must know that we will walk beside him. The fraternity we profess must become the faithful presence we provide.
At Mount Olivet, that responsibility found expression in the Church’s most powerful prayer: the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass.
Together, we entrusted our deceased brothers and their wives to the mercy of Jesus Christ. Together, we asked for consolation for those who mourn. And in three grandsons’ smiles, we glimpsed the quiet strength of a faith being handed on.
