Good is not Good Enough: Loving our Neighbors through the Spiritual Works of Mercy

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Our coffees clanked down on the counter. Steam rose out of the mug, twisting and circling as it floated up into oblivion.

“Man, I just feel restless.”

My friend, Kris, shook his head and let out a long exhale as he grabbed his mug. He was clearly in a tough season.

“Bah! Cheer up, buckaroo!”

Kris turned and shot me a look. Oh. Oops.

It wasn’t time for light-hearted small talk. I could sense he was willing to be vulnerable with me and that I should meet him where he’s at.

I grabbed my mug and followed him to a nearby table.

Kris and I met through a work event at another coffee shop a year or two prior. We quickly bonded over faith and Christianity. He was raised Catholic but identified as a non-denominational Christian. I wanted to be purposeful in our friendship, hoping he would one day return to Catholicism and heal his acknowledged wound with the Church.

Our friendship was based on mutual trust, and now the door was open to going deeper, so I went for it.

“I’m sorry, man. I know things are rough. If you don’t mind me asking, how are you with the Lord?”

“I mean…I feel like I’m good. I’m trying to be a good person and focus on prayer. I actually feel like things are on the up and up there.”

I could feel the temptation to leave things at that. He was “good” with the Lord, and that was good enough for most people. He was striving to be a “good person,” essentially reaching our society’s idea of peak human potential. He even valued prayer.

I didn’t want Kris to feel awkward by taking the conversation further, and I definitely didn’t want him to feel like I was judging him by asking more questions. I also didn’t want to come across like I was forcing anything on him, or like I thought I was some sort of spiritual guru.

However, I also knew Kris was church-hopping, bouncing from place to place and idea to idea. He was clearly hungry for more, and he deserved more.

It’s scary to challenge people to take the next step with Christ, so I forced myself to gently lean in further.

“That’s awesome, dude. I know you prioritize the Lord. I have no doubt about that. When you say you’re focusing on prayer, does that mean you’re praying every day?”

“Yeah, man. I’m praying more than I ever have, and I’m also doing different fasts, so I just…I don’t get why I’m still so restless.”

“What do you feel like the Lord is teaching you?”

“I feel like he’s just encouraging me to keep going.”

If I was tempted to stop pressing into a spiritual conversation before, now I was really tempted to leave things alone. It’s scary to challenge people to take the next step with Christ, even more so when they already know Christ.

Kris was praying and fasting — something most of my Catholic friends didn’t even do. I knew he was serious about his relationship with the Lord, but I also knew there was more for him to experience. As Catholics, we believe we have access to the fullness of Truth. No other denomination makes that claim.

It’s an easy temptation — maybe even the biggest temptation in the work of evangelization — to think that as long as someone is trying to follow the Lord, they’re safe, they’re good to go and our work is done. I felt this temptation well up within me, but I forced myself to remain gentle and bold.

“I’m not off-base when I say you’re hungry for more, am I?”

“No.”

“Well, I feel like I have to be honest with you. I’ve been in your shoes before, so I understand what you’re feeling. There is more. There’s so much more. And it’s found in the Catholic Church.”

I let my words breathe. I wanted to say more, but I wanted to see how he received those words first.

“Dude…”

He let out another long exhale and dropped his head.

My stomach churned. Did I push things too far? Was he annoyed with me? I looked at the steam whirling off the surface of our coffees.

“I’ve been more curious about my Catholic roots lately, so it’s funny you say that.”

I looked up. Relief poured over me.

“Yeah? What have you been thinking about?”

We went on to have a beautiful conversation, and by the end, I sensed an increased openness in Kris to the Catholic Church.

Looking back at this relatively simple conversation, a few things stand out to me as powerful reminders for anyone looking to spiritually accompany another person.

First, this conversation wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t invited the Holy Spirit into our conversation beforehand and tried to continue listening to him throughout. As Pope St. Paul VI once reminded us, “It must be said that the Holy Spirit is the principal agent of evangelization: it is he who impels each individual to proclaim the Gospel,” (Evangelii Nuntiandi 75).

Second, people who are restlessly seeking are open to the Catholic Church. Plain and simple. If someone is genuinely seeking answers to deep questions, they will listen to your witness. That should be a great source of confidence for us. People are hungry for what the Church offers.

Third and finally, there were so many opportunities to cut this conversation short. Kris gave me so many outs, and I would have gladly taken them if I wasn’t totally convicted of the beauty and abundance that our Catholic faith offers.

Catholic evangelization cannot stop once someone strives to be “a good person.”

Catholic evangelization cannot stop once someone believes in Christ.

Catholic evangelization cannot stop once someone develops a relationship with Christ.

As Pope St. Paul VI also reminded us, “…it can equally be said that [the Holy Spirit] is the goal of evangelization: he alone stirs up the new creation, the new humanity of which evangelization is to be the result, with that unity in variety which evangelization wishes to achieve within the Christian community” (EN 75).

Put another way, Catholic evangelization must strive towards intimacy with Christ and transformation through the Holy Spirit. The fullness of this intimacy, of course, is found in union with the Catholic Church.

As St. Thomas Aquinas once taught, to love is to will the good of another. However, in our modern age, this can get lost in translation.

We live in a time and place in which we have access to so many good things. We need to remember that “good” is the enemy of “great.” When we truly love another, the “good” we will for them is their ultimate good — their absolute best.

To love is to will the best of another.

In the work of evangelization, therefore, it’s not enough to lead someone to a good place. Our chief aim should be to lead them to the best place.

As we continue building up the Kingdom of God, may we strive to be agents of the Holy Spirit, trust in the fullness given to us by Christ’s Bride, and love one another fully by willing their absolute best.